absentmindedprofessor
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Joined 01-24-12, id: 822610, Profile Updated: 06-19-14
Author has written 26 stories for Romance, and General.

Hey there! Thanks for stopping by!

Due to the troubles of revealing my full information, you can just call me my pen name... sorry, I'm a little paranoid about revealing info online. Besides, revealing personal characteristics might take away from the stories I write a little bit. I know that in the past, it has for me. :O

Here's a fun fact about me: my pen name comes from my uncanny ability to start things without finishing them. I'm trying to work on that with my stories, and hopefully the fact that people are reading them will be a motivator to actually finish those little monsters!

I like to write about romance (obviously) but the type of romance varies. As you scan through my stories, you'll see that they range from light to angsty to downright dark. :P I know everyone has their preferences.


You're Not Sexy Series (in this order):

1. You're Not Sexy

2. The Height of Feminism

3. The Door's Open

4. Curiosity (prequel)

5. Christmas at Fletcher's

6. A Tale of Two Lawyers


I read an amazing short story the other day that doesn't have nearly the amount of reviews it deserves. It's called "Taboo" by Nemainonthewater, and it takes a look at a possible future world where today's oppressed become the oppressors. It's worth reading and please, if you do, leave a review! Thank you!


*NOTEY-NOTE*

As you might have noticed, I have not posted much in the past few months. I apologize profusely for this, but my life has been quite chaotic in many different ways, and though I attempt to write, it is never enough to put together a chapter (or two) fine enough for publication. I have been updating TEoLV sporadically, but I think for now, T&B will remain indefinitely postponed. Once again, I am really sorry. :'(


NOTE 1: If it's not too much trouble, I would really, really, really appreciate it if you'd leave a review. Just so I know you've read. =)

NOTE 2: After reading some scary FictionPress essays about the growing prevalence of plagiarism, I would just like to say that I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY PLAGIARISM OF ANY OF MY STORIES. AT ALL. (Assuming, of course, that they're worth plagiarizing.) All my stories are the property of absentmindedprofessor, namely, ME.

NOTE 3: Thank you to all those who have added me as a favourite author/author alert. I feel so loved! =D

Love, absentmindedprofessor

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You by Absent Pulse reviews
A series of failed student/teacher romances, told from the abandoned teachers' points of view. Love isn't really like the books say, after all.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,787 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/10/2014 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Complete
The Boyfriend by LovettWriter reviews
For five thousand, he'll sleep with you. For ten thousand he'll be anything you want, but how much is it for true love?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,317 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 11/27/2014 - Published: 10/9/2010
Sinjin and Shalimar by gerardmendoza reviews
Journey to Arabia in 1901 where a young prince named Sinjin falls in love with a harem wife named Shalimar. Owned by his evil uncle, the two decided to meet in secret only to have their love story end in tragedy.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,078 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Complete
Sleeping Kiss by XiaoChuChu reviews
One Shot. She liked him, he liked her. Both were oblivious. They were friends. It was getting late and he fell asleep. But their conversation didn't end there as he talks in his sleep. R/R please! Sorry for bad summary, please give it a chance.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/28/2012 - Complete
Taboo by Nemainofthewater reviews
In the future, where homosexuality is the norm and heterosexuality is taboo , a student wonders why.
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,458 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/29/2012 - Complete
The Dark Prince by The Phoenix Girl reviews
Victoria, presented as a gift from her village to the Dark Prince for his coronation as the new king, suffers from the prince's dark mood and lust. WARNING: VERY DARK & EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 51,075 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 375 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 6/20/2012 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Complete
The Runner by Katrina Wallace reviews
She's running, but she's not sure where. All she knows is she has to get away; but from what, and at what cost? IMPLIED NON-CON.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,030 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/10/2012 - Complete
You'll Always Be A Planet To Me: A Eulogy To Pluto by BridgedxLove reviews
Who are we to judge what size makes a celestial body eligible or ineligible to be a planet?
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 653 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/24/2012 - Complete
Trash to Treasure by non.graceful reviews
After being thrown in the trash by her boyfriend- now ex- Faith thinks her life can't get any worse. Throw in a skanky best friend, a pair of 'no entry' panties, a broken down elevator and one sexy brown eyed male... Yeah definitely couldn't get worse.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,914 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 9/9/2011 - Complete
Jared by ice bitten reviews
It was only obsession if the love wasn't returned. Dark; Mature
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,330 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/11/2012 - Complete
Perfect Portrait by Penelope Atkins reviews
Amy smiled as she ran her finger across the canvas, creating a deep red line. Her lover was with her, and soon everything, like the portrait, would be perfect. It didn't matter that he was dead. Warning: Rated M due to gore and implications of violence.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,382 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/5/2012 - Complete
Whispers in the Dark by FaithRestarts reviews
Ian Smithson comes home from doing errands to find his world turned upside down.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,260 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/26/2012 - Complete
The Siren by Roya S. Hill reviews
He's poison. He's addictive. He's the type of guy that will rip out your heart and devour it whole. And he's finally met his match.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,189 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Published: 2/15/2012 - Complete
Resort Weekend by trixipixie reviews
Jordan wants Reece's wife, and Tasha wants Reece. And these two will do whatever it takes to get what they want. explicit sexual content
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,387 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/3/2012 - Published: 1/29/2012 - Complete
Girls, Boys, and Other Enigmas by Miss Haps reviews
ONESHOT. "Your mom wants me to impregnate you?" I pause. "Yes," I answer honestly. "She thinks you're dreamy and has deemed you well equipped for the job." Kent laughs. "Well that's true. I think I can be pretty sufficient in that area of service."
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20,526 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 541 - Follows: 40 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Complete
The Headstand by found.eventually reviews
"What does fuck mean?" His eyes looked up to meet hers, "It's a vile word." "What's does vile mean?" She always thought she was smart for her age, but he clearly won her by a thousand miles.She wasn't used to being defeated, and she hated it. ONE-SHOT.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,697 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/7/2011 - Complete
Without My Olive by Deena reviews
I was a Muslim guy with a temper and she was the olives on my pizza...what was the point in eating pizza if it didn't have olives on it? **One-shot**
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,176 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/26/2010 - Complete
Dare: Stay Sane While I Strip by MaeMaes reviews
The idea was to catch Pierce's attention. I was nearly naked beneath my coat and ready to flash him. Oh, God, was I crazy? /Two-Part Fic! Complete/
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,209 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 3/21/2010 - Published: 3/20/2010 - Complete
Innocence and Petulance by Sada Green reviews
Soon he would hold her in his gazes again, smell the sweet scent of her hair, her skin. He would hear the delicate lilting of her voice. Little Maggie. Sweet, gentle Maggie… **Detailed Summary Inside** Rated M for language and graphic sex.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 66,781 - Reviews: 470 - Favs: 529 - Follows: 198 - Updated: 2/16/2010 - Published: 5/20/2009 - Complete
Sunny Mr Finnigan by iBrandi reviews
Out of all people, Finn Blake the Ultimate Jock was probably the last person you'd pick to turn gay. Yet there he was, hiding behind a truck, making creepy stalker eyes at the littlest punk ever. Ah, romance.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,569 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 18 - Published: 10/8/2009 - Complete
Pretty by Kataphilein reviews
Stalker's POV. I need to run my fingers through her pretty, pretty hair, and I need to look into her blue, blue eyes. I need to hear her screaming for me. Dark.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Published: 6/27/2009 - Complete
DELICIOUS by iBrandi reviews
“I’ll sell my body, I don’t know.” He ate another cookie. “THIS IS SO GOOD. I want to have epic sex with your baking skills.” An instructional guide on how to snare males in the trap of awesome cooking.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,788 - Reviews: 354 - Favs: 1,176 - Follows: 93 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Complete
Short Obsession by Broken Typewriter reviews
Forget the tall, dark and handsome stereotype. The guy I want is short-ish, dimpled and adorable. He's my 'short' obsession. One-shot.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,203 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/20/2009 - Complete
Untitled by Lisuby reviews
About a stalker and his victim. One shot. Critique is loved. WARNING: Pretty graphic/disturbing. Sexual themes, blood, etc.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,418 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Complete
False Facades by Maeven reviews
Sam Westlane is the new kid in the famous all boys Crestan High School for the rich and the spoiled ... There's only one problem. Sam is a girl.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 114,525 - Reviews: 7222 - Favs: 6,083 - Follows: 888 - Updated: 1/5/2009 - Published: 9/5/2003 - Complete
The Day I Stalked Him by Vena Cava reviews
(One-Shot) 12:05pm. Target caught masturbating in bathroom stall. 007 status: in adjacent stall, hyperventilating.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,796 - Reviews: 995 - Favs: 2,281 - Follows: 198 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Complete
Get Mad, Baby by DevonnyAuriel reviews
Oneshot. Sometimes being a scorned woman is an incredible turnon. At least to a guy who's been in and out of anger management.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,399 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 980 - Follows: 52 - Published: 10/28/2007 - Complete
instrumentals on mute by dollface and her cancer reviews
forget romeo & juliet, let's be bonnie & clyde.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 2,195 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/1/2007 - Published: 5/30/2006 - Complete
The Spider and the Fly by Reversed Polarity reviews
Appearances are deceiving. Words are lies. He's the spider she's the fly. [Oneshot]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 235 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/4/2006 - Complete
The Mating Rituals of Teenage Boys by Aero Faerie Extraordinaire reviews
I wrote this after making fun of a guy friend who was flirting with a girl. Badly! Please take no offense boys.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/15/2005
Oblivious by ephemerae reviews
OneShot A girl, a boy, and something lost.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 268 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/29/2005 - Complete
What It Means to be Free by incognitus reviews
A short essay I wrote for 2003 Commonwealth Competiton as practice.
Fiction: Essay - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/23/2004 - Complete
Concentrated on Falling Apart by Shampoo Suicide reviews
Once upon a time there was a boy name Mike who liked to count the bones in his rib cage through his shirt.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,816 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 19 - Published: 11/11/2003 - Complete
That One Night by Gweta reviews
Blood and sex...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 406 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/29/2003 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Echo of Lost Virtue reviews
[WITHOUT FREEDOM SEQUEL!] He had waited so long for her to say his name – four years. It was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 67,813 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/4 - Published: 11/23/2012 - Complete
The Clubhouse: 40 Winks
[COMPLETE] She wanted nothing to do with him – she didn't deserve him. And he didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve to be treated like garbage.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,414 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/19/2014 - Complete
A Tale of Two Lawyers reviews
[ONE-SHOT][YOU'RE NOT SEXY SEQUEL] Lila and Ian get themselves into an interesting situation after a celebratory drink at the pub.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,315 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/6/2014 - Complete
Christmas at Fletcher's reviews
[ONE-SHOT][YOU'RE NOT SEXY SEQUEL] Christina organizes an impromptu Christmas party, Lila has a trick up her sleeve, and Ian has forgotten to buy presents. Oh dear.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,670 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/24/2013 - Complete
Curiosity reviews
[ONE-SHOT][YOU'RE NOT SEXY SEQUEL] Ian and Lila's first meeting, when he hires her to work at Matthew Fletcher and Associates.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,040 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/18/2013 - Complete
The Ultimate Gift reviews
[COMPLETE] An Arabian princess is stalked and coveted by a sorcerer who wishes to possess her entirely. Full summary inside.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,673 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 3/14/2013 - Published: 6/16/2012 - Complete
Desecration reviews
[COMPLETE!] "Sing for me," he whispered. [full summary inside]
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 40,419 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 2/6/2013 - Published: 2/13/2012 - Complete
Artistic Expression reviews
[COMPLETE!] Evie feels Indira needs a man in her life, so she sets her up with Hunter Grayson, a new coworker. She has no way of knowing he's an obsessive stalker, or that he's killed four women in pursuit of the perfect mate.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 18 - Words: 37,291 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 2/2/2013 - Published: 2/13/2012 - Complete
The Door's Open reviews
[ONE-SHOT] [YOU'RE NOT SEXY SEQUEL] His hair was a mess, his tie was loosened, and put together, he had never looked better.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,412 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/9/2012 - Complete
The Height of Feminism reviews
[ONE-SHOT] [YOU'RE NOT SEXY SEQUEL] Ian enlists Lila's help in hiring a new lawyer, but she is frustrated by his attempts at an office flirtation long before the office.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,237 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 8/17/2012 - Complete
A Perfect Balance reviews
[COMPLETE] Two soon-to-be university students participate in a dance competition, but find that their cruise-ship exploits won't stay at sea.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,943 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/14/2012 - Published: 5/1/2012 - Complete
Disgust reviews
[ONE-SHOT] She was so beautiful.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,796 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/30/2012 - Complete
Without Freedom reviews
[COMPLETE] She wasn't allowed to make a sound when he touched her, no matter how good he made her feel.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,711 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 5/5/2012 - Complete
Sense of Feeling reviews
[ONE-SHOT] His kisses were electric.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,179 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/7/2012 - Complete
Unwanted Invitation reviews
[COMPLETE] With both Xavier and Sarita in tension-filled marriages, they find comfort in each other.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,038 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/2/2012 - Published: 3/5/2012 - Complete
Distraction reviews
[ONE-SHOT][UNWANTED INVITATION SEQUEL] A blueblooded party beckons, but Xavier allows himself to fall prey to the exploits of Sarita's form-fitting dress.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,628 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/2/2012 - Complete
Cherry Sweet reviews
[ONE-SHOT] [SWEET TEMPTATION SEQUEL] Nuria and Sebastian have been together for two years, and she's decided that she wants all of him. Sebastian is not ready for this.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,177 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/28/2012 - Complete
When Marilee Sleeps reviews
[ONE-SHOT] [UNWANTED INVITATION SEQUEL] Xavier likes to hear Sarita talk.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,805 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/25/2012 - Complete
Sense of Humanity reviews
[ONE-SHOT] Stephen's gone off the rails, and Cecelia's the only one who knows - but can she stop him?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,752 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Complete
Bedroom Eyes reviews
[ONE-SHOT] [BLUEBLOODED BETRAYALS SEQUEL] At a party, Tristan and Evalette find themselves getting very bored...
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,618 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/11/2012 - Complete
Cheeks of Rose reviews
[ONE-SHOT] Poor Eric has enough trouble with his yearly checkup. What's he going to do when a beautiful young doctor substitutes for his most personal exam?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,347 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/7/2012 - Complete
Blueblooded Betrayals reviews
[COMPLETE] All he could think about was how beautiful she was, how much it hurt to see her looking like that and knowing she'd never look that way for him.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,915 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 5/5/2012 - Published: 2/7/2012 - Complete
You're Not Sexy reviews
[ONE-SHOT] Paralegal Lila Riordan is fed up with her boss' wandering, libidinous eyes.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,618 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/2/2012 - Complete
Sweet Temptation reviews
[ONE-SHOT] Nuria's in a bit of a quandary when her sister's irritatingly handsome boyfriend admits that the only reason he's dating Vidette is because she's the closest thing he'll get to having Nuria herself.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,610 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 4/24/2012 - Published: 2/5/2012 - Complete
A Taste of Poison reviews
[ONE-SHOT] Two people attend an extravagant soiree for the same purpose - to kill all of the guests. But they each have their own reasons for doing so.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,152 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 4/24/2012 - Complete
A Son Unlike His Father reviews
[ONE-SHOT] It doesn't always end well when a student propositions his teacher.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,177 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 3/28/2012 - Complete