legendofprussia
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Joined 03-12-12, id: 830545, Profile Updated: 05-31-12
Author has written 1 story for Romance.

Name: Lexi

Age: 15

Gender: female

Apperance: short in hight, short very curly hair the colour of caramel with milk chocolate and white chocolate highlights, big eyes the colour of light jade, wears anything thats cute and goes with her 'Punk Rocker Chicka' look.

Persona: I'm kind and thoughtful, but i can also be mean.

Extra: My mom and dad were never married, I'm the youngest of three girls, I live in California, and my twin is my BFF.

What I love: Stiles from Teen Wolf, and The Wanted

My RPs! : http://www.fictionpress.com/myforums/ThePurpleBunnie/830545/

Favorite Book Series:The Hunger Games, Vampire Academy, Maximum Ride, Percy Jackson, The Darkst Powers series, The Secret Circle, The Immortals, House of Night, Secret Circle, Mortal Instruments, Shiver, and Vampire Diaries. (cant think of any more...)

Favorite Anime Series: Ouran Highschool Host Club, Black Butler, Adventure Time with Cake and Fionna (if that counts-??), Full Metal Panic, Wolf and Spice, Murder Princess, Fruits Basket, Chobits, and Elfen Lied.

Favorite one-shot Book: Keeping The Moon by Sarah Dessen

Pets?: Sadly my cat died a few years ago... Her name was Momo... God bless her.

Favorite Disney Quote: "You were much more...muchier. You've lost your muchness." - Mad Hatter

Favorite non-Disney cartoon Quote: "I LOVE KONG FUUUUUU!!!!!" Po From Kong Fu Panda.

Favorite non-animated movie quote: "I know Kong fu"- Neo, The Matrix

Book character: Rose Hathaway - Vampire Academy ((Fear me and my Badass-ness.))

Movie character: Sally - Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas

Do I talk too much?: YES! :3

Do I love Kong Fu movies?: YES!!! Yes I do... HEY! PENUT BUTTER!!!

Extra: I love yaoi!! Thanks to my sister Kat (RedHightops) im obsessed with it. lol

put this
on your profile
if you roleplay

This is very creepy:This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top

RaNdOm QuOtEs! (If I don't write them down, they will annoy me until I do!)

"Daddy, I want another pony."

"Daddy, I want a squirrel, not any squirrel a trained squirrel."

"Don't touch that squirrel's nuts! It will make him crazy!"

-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2008)

"In my world everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies..."

"That's very nice, Katie."

"Is it the bad Vlad, or the bunny Vlad with the cookies?"

"Yes, Horton, she's sending you a bunny with cookies. I think we can assume its the bad Vlad."

"BAD VLAD! BAD VLAD!"

-Horton Hears a Who

"Is it a million dollar pipe?...Is it a billion dollar pipe?"

"Why can't they just say, 'Go to this place. Here's the treasure. Spend it wisely'?"

-National Treasure

"You will remember this as the day you almost caught the infamous Jack Sparrow!"

"That has to be the best pirate I've ever seen!"

"You're pirates! Hang the rules! Hang the Code! They're more like guidlines anyway."

"Did you all see that? 'Cause I will not be doing it again."

-Pirates of the Carribean

"Is your favorite number in the alphabet purple?"

"Is it colder in the city or November?"

"Do you walk to school or carry your lunch?"

-Paul Harris (He is not a movie. He is the best cowboy ever who could quote Monty Python for hours...That reminds me.)

"I'm not dead yet!"

"Yes you are!"

"I can't take him like this."

"I'm feeling much better. I think I'll go for a walk."

"Shut up. Isn't there anything you can do?"

"(Thunk!(Old man just got hit over the head with a mallet.)) See you next Thursday."

"We are the knights who say NI."

"You must find us...a shrubbery!"

"I am Earl, Earl the shrubber."

"My friends call me, Tim."

"It's got big teeth. It can leap. Look at the bones!"

"Behind the bunny?"

"It is the bunny!"

"Thou shall pull the pin and throw the Holy Hand Grenade on three. Not one not five or one but three.

Thou shall not throw the Holy Hand Grenade on two nor four but three..."

"One...Two...Five! No wait! Three!"

"What is the air speed velocity of an unladen sparrow?"

"African or European?"

"Well, I don't quite know. AHHHHH!"

"How did you know that?"

"A king has to know these things, you know."

-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Some random things I find on my friends profiles:

If you have pulled a Max: You have made a snap decision and decided to do it without thinking it through first.

If you have pulled a Fang: You have sneaked up behind someone without them noticing, making it seem like you came out of nowhere.

If you have pulled an Iggy: You have run into an inanimate object without realizing it was there. This could include, poles, wall, doors, tables, etc.

If you have pulled a Nudge: You have talked about something nonstop for the past five minutes, not allowing anyone else to speak. This is also known as rambling.

If you have pulled a Gazzy: You have farted in a big group of people really loudly, and everyone could hear it and smell it.

If you have pulled an Angel: You have invaded someone else’s personal space, without any consideration for that person. You can also pull an Angel by gaining a whole lot of useless powers that you don't really need...but I highly recommend the first one.

If you have pulled any of these, copy and past it to your profile and say the ones you have pulled.

I have pulled a Max, a Fang, an Iggy (multiple times), and a Nudge. Thank god I haven't pulled a Gazzy.

Put this on your
site if you
support Emos!

MAX TEST :D

1. Is Fang epic?

Hell yeah!

2. Eggy or Niggy?

NIGGY!!! Only when Nudge is older!!! *Glares at said Flock member*

3. Fax?

Definetly.

4. Angel: sweet little girl or evil demon child?

Both, but mainly demon child.

5. Instead of throwing stones, what would the flock do in a glass house?

Max: be paranoid

Fang: blend in

Iggy: touch the walls to see its color (clear, hmm... wierd.)

Gazzy: blow the crap out of it.

Nudge: use walls as a make-up mirror

Angel: sit there and be creepy as hell.


Things to do in Wal-Mart

1. Get random items and put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun. *wink wink*

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isn’t for you.

Don’t mess with me, I’ve got a stick.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Someday, my prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you THIN,

Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,

Calling me A BITCH wont make you ANY BETTER,

So why bother?


ღღ

ღღMY FRIENDS!!

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you believe big red buttons should be pushed because they are big and red, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ponder this:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your friends are surprised that you haven't given them A.D.H.D., Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should gave rabbit thou freakin' Trix, copy and paste this to your profile! (I mean seriously there feud has been on long enough! its just cearel kids!)

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. (i aint screwing my life up)

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off! (aeropostal, way better, but i don't worship it)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste into your profile. (fo snizzel to all you)

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile. (Social Studies)

If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile. ( im singing now! I probably suck though)

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile. (i am not the best cook in the world. Don't blame me)

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. (you little irkers!)

If you favorite other stories/authors on here, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have way too much stuff on your Fanfiction profile, but don't want to take anything out since you can't decide or don't know what to take out, copy and paste this into your profile. (im leaving everything)

If you can't stop thinking of things to add to your profile, but really want to stop, copy and paste this into your profile. (hahaha thats a given)

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (i am right no, as i am typing this)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (i might be dead.)

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. (i am right now)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile. (reading, sometimes writing.)

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile. (right now, yup!)

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile (2 reviews! :O excitment)

If you have ever made a weird noise (not pervertedly) out of the blue, copy and paste this to your profile (i sneezed during a volleyball game and it sounded like a dog)

If you have ever broke out laughing at joke right when someone walked up to you, copy and paste this to your profile (ALL THE TIME!)

If your sibling looks at you weird when you walk in the room, paste this to your profile (haha all the time)

If someone has ever walked up behind you and you elbowed them on accident, paste this to your profile. (oops, sry... random person..)

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dummy?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Find the person who made you cry and punish them.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Would try to put the fire out on your house

BEST FRIENDS: Would be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen

FRIENDS: will pick you up when your down

BEST FRIENDS: will push you back down and laugh

FRIENDS: ask why you're crying

BEST FRIENDS: already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: will say you can do better

BEST FRIENDS: will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: will help you with your drug problem

BEST FRIENDS: are the ones who sold it to you

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "Holly shit!! That was frcking insane!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried and hold you till you stop.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial and always text you.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

8 Dont use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . e-mail this to someone to make them smile and laugh. Its called therapy.

I am that girl,
The one who likes books more than boys.
The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy
The one who always wonders what she did wrong
The one who writes to escape her messed up life
The one who just wants to help when she needs it too
The one that really wants to make a difference to her mom
The one that sticks to her values and never gives up even though that seems easier then facing the truth
The one that refuses to believe that this is it that her mom wont ever get better
The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow for her family
The one who won't give in to the drugs and the 'cool' crowd
The one won't give up no matter how helpless she seems

Things Maximum Ride has Taught Us:

1. Being different is okay.

2. Even the little things can help save the world.

3. Red-heads are evil!!

4. Love always makes itself known. Even if it takes you five fricking books and fourteen years of your life to see it, it's there.

5. 6-year-olds do have the ability to take over the world. (Angel...)

6. Duct tape is a handy tool if you have a mimicking 8-year-old.

7. The loss of a vet would be a tragedy.

8. Dressing in dark clothes and never talking does notmake you emo; it makes you Fang-like.

9. French is the universal language.

10. Fang-sized is an acceptable form of measurement.

11. Count your blessings.

12. Teen magazines don't help you in life or death situations.

13. Nachos and Moutain Dew are proper mind controlling devices.

14. Fang has the power to sum up your life story in nine words.

15. Even a kick-ass, leader of a merry band of mutants like Max can make mistakes.

16. Never get hooked on Valium.

17. The best breed of dogs are talking Scotties!!

18. If one cannot be corrupted by power or money, there's always Snicker's bars.

19. It is okay to sell your soul for a chocolate-chip cookie.

20. Kids are better than adults.

21. You'll know the Apocalypse is coming when Max is wearing a dress.

22. The best cooks are blind pyros.

23. Submarines are tiny tin cans of doom.

24. Desert rat should always be cooked to well-done.

25. School really is an evil place.

26. Teachers really are out to get you.

27. Remember to flap.

28. Only one bird kid could pull off preppy Top-Siders.

29. GIRLS KICK BOYS' BUTTS!!

30. The order of power: God, Jesus, Chuck Norris, Max, Fang, Angel, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Total, humans, animals.

31. Brigid, Sam, Lissa, and ter Barch never should have been created.

32. If your geneticly altered your never alone.

33. TEENS ROCK!!!

MoRe RaNdOmNeSs:

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, copy and paste this in your profile

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you wish Max would stop running from Fang copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you agree that Fang is Fangalicious, copy this into your profile.

If you agree that Robert Pattinson SHOULD NOT be Fang in the Maximum Ride (the movie), copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good. (lol i am your evil overlord!! BOW TO ME!!!)

Job at the FBI

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two
men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal
door and handed him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the
circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a
chair kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your
wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went
into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my
wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and
go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions,
to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were
heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the
walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and
there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death
with the chair.'

MORAL:

Women are crazy. Don't mess with them- and yes i know 'cos i am one...

WEIRD STUFF THAT MAKES YOU THINK...

The toothfairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.

Santa teaches you that it's okay to break into houses as long as you bring presents.

Show me a girl with both feet planted firmly on the ground and I'll show some one who can't put her pants on

I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.

Backstabbing is fun... the look on your face is priceless

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

I snap crackle and pop rice krispies.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

Workin' hard or hardly workin'?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

I believe 'die bitch' conveys my feelings properly

I say we shoot Cupid and see how he likes it.

I believe that dragons unicorns and sporks do exsist.

The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.

Behold the mighty...chihuahua?

When you look at the sky do you see a cloud or a dinosaur in a tutu?

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

Snot is brain juice leaking out of your nose.

If you're really my friend, I'll probably make jabs at you. It's all in good fun. But don't confuse jabs with insults. Insults involve actual dislike.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

"All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies." (TOO FREAKING TRUE!)

"He who laughs last thinks slowest and he who laughs first doesn't get it."

"Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought"

"Welcome to the Ool. There's no "p" in it, lets keep it that way." (Lol...)

Every time a guy ignores me, I know it’s just because he’s a vampire in love with me, and he is too polite to drink my blood.

Did you know that they have Bill Nye the Science Guy under T.V. shows and that ten people have written stories for it?

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

I'm an optimistic pessimist. (Paramore refrence!!!)

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Your multiple personalities are freaking out my imaginary friend!

It takes 48 muslces to frown but only 14 to flip some one off.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive.

I'm the kinda girl who always falls for the sidekick, always.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. (Lol so true)

Parents spend the first half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Who ever said 'nothing is impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door.

(Like you don’t gasp every time you see a silver Volvo.)

I wish my lawn was emo... then it could cut itself.

Strangers have the best candy.

You stare because I’m different...(0.0) ('.') ('.') ('.')I stare because you're all the same.

Free hugs.

Your epidermus is showing!

Come to the Dark Side... We have cookies!!

I do what ever my rice Krispes tell me to.

You dropped your pocket.

I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.

I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.

Its all gouda.

I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his 'time of the month'.

My imaginary friends are jealous of my voices.

When Edward goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Harry Potter.

You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You jump off a bridge. I laugh.

I'm not fat. I'm just short for my weight.

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

Your chances of being struck by lightning go up if you stand on a hill beneath a tree raise your fist to the sky and shout, 'Storms Suck!'

'We're gonna kick Luke and Titian ass.' 'What? Luke has a tight ass?'

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. (BOO-yah!)

Can I borrow your pen? I need to stab you in the eye.

Your year book picture still haunts me.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

Don't try to out-weird me-- I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast ceral.

Don't you look at me with that tone of voice.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

Shakespear must have had a lot of one-night-stands because anyone who can make suicide romantic had to be a smooth talker.

Love can be soo boring

Many a grandchild was spoiled because you simply cannot spank Grandpa.

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Ahh pure love (smiles wistfully) It makes me sick.

You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?

Fanfictions aren't everything... but they're right up there with oxygen.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

You say crazy like it's a bad thing...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

(said during baseball game) Anything going that fast should have seatbelts and a flight attendant

Stop with your premeditated spontaneity.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit.

If it wasnt for physics and law inforcement I'd be unstoppable.

How come we drive on a parkway and park on a drive way?

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

A computer password is like a toothbrush: Change it every six months and don't share with anyone else

On the down side I now am registered for things I don't want to be and I find my self paying for things I didn't buy and the up side I won Aol's most creative password

I trippped over a wireless phone

Remember students, all Voldemort really needs is a hug.

They say ignorance is bliss; I would rather be blissfully ignorant then know THAT.

Never say 'things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge

The world is big enough for Werewolves AND Wizards.

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

Why are the Force and duct tape the same? Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

People say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I'm easily distrac- Look, shiny!!

Emily is not the wolf girl. I am.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I'm a big fan of letting my imagination run wild. There's always a chance it won't come back, but it always has, and usually with an odd scent attached to it.

If you're looking for sympathy, it's right between 'shit' and 'syphilis' in the dictionary.

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

Aww heck no, I didn't kill him.

Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong.

Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.

In an average room there are about, 120,496 objects a Ravenclaw can use to kill you. Including the room itself.

I have the kind of friends that if my house was burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen.

Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is that frisbee getting bigger?'... then it hits me

I wanted to be a warrior like you, not a damsel in this dress.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork."

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

If you cry, I cry. If you laugh, I laugh. If you fight, I got your back. If you trip, I'll catch you when you fall. If you jump off a bridge... Oh heck ,wait for me!"

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your oppinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. (Too. Freaking. True.)

I know at least one person who would love to push me down the stairs

Music is my boyfriend.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me, and Hell was afraid I'd take over. (I would do that...)

Fanfiction...Beacuse it's cheaper then therapy. (So true...)

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Ohh look its a bird, it's a plane, it's... an egg salad sandwich

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door. (Or nailing jelly to the wall)

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it. *SOB*

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. (ROFL!!!)

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. (Soooo true)

Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train. (No. The light at the end of the tunnel is a reminder of why the hell you're in a tunnel)

If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk!

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity?... I think I lost it.

Do not attempt to follow my footsteps. I walk into a lot of walls. (...Yeah, taht pretty much describes me.)

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

You can't spell awesome without ME!

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

'If you are first you are first. If you are second you are not in first.' (Really? I didn't know that.)

I was normal before I met you!

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.(Why do all the good jokes have to be so funny, yet so wrong?)

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I say, when life gives you lemons, make apple juice and laugh at the looks people give you.

'I'm not moving backwards, I'm just moving forwards in another direction.' (Haha. That's technically true.)

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my roof!

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Wrinkles merely show where smiles have been.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

If I went to Hogwarts, and got sent to Dumbledore's office, I would so skip down the hallway and sing, 'I'm off to see the wizard...' LOL!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

Every time you open your mouth, you get in trouble. Alternatively, just stick up your middle finger under the table.

There's nothing wrong with taking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

Nine of the ten Voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is undecided.

Growing older is manditory. Growing up is optional.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had.

Yeah, Im a loser, but the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

"We may not make good decisions But hell, we make good stories."

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "

"Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face, when you push them down a flight of stairs. "

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.""

IN LOVING MEMORY!!! (And stuff that might make you cry

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been sad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile.

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question .She was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

You're never alone...

93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.

Don't be one of those people.

Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you

This is NOT Twilight by thehogwartsgleechick reviews
A Twilight hating girl finds herself caught in what seems to be exactly that, Twilight
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,836 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/21/2012 - Published: 1/15/2012
Seven Chances to be a Hero reviews
Mercy Callahan has always had it rough. Being the only Mexican in her school was only a tiny part of her troubles. One dare will change her and her six friends forever. Rated for cussing. R&R!
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,351 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/21/2012 - Published: 3/14/2012