Author has written 2 stories for Sci-Fi. Hello whoever decided to look at my profile, thank you kindly. I am a born and raised bumpkin with a computer from 2014 (I almost wrote 2044. How friggin' sweet would that be?) Any one who knows me will call me an A: Faggot (I'm gay, thank you!) or B: Weirdo. I am in LOVE with the best guy ever and engaged to him. So, go read my work(s)! Thanks for visiting!! FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. 00000 The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... IF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU PASTE THEM TO YOUR PROFILE ... 1) If you have ever tripped up the stairs 2) If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile 3) If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it 4) If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, 5) If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, 6) If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!," 7)30% of kids go to college. The other 70% either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30% that you know you're going to go to college ... 9) If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, 10) 98% of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, 11) If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, 12) If you have ever said that an anime character is sexy and you love them and you mean it, 13) If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, 14) If you have ever tripped over your own feet/foot, 15) If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, 16) If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, 17) If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa 18) If you or your best friend is insane, 19) Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned about being popular and fitting in. If you’re part of the five who aren’t ... 20) If you’ve ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, 21) If you are against discrimination of any sort, copy and paste this in your profile, 22) If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both…copy and paste this into your profile, 23) If you hear voices of the characters in your head… copy and paste this on your profile, 24) If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer, 25) If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile, 26) If you think life without computers is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile, 27) If you have music in your soul, copy and paste this into your profile, 28) If you’ve read other people’s profiles to copy and paste things, paste this into your profile, 29) If you think Writer’s Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile, 30) If you’re anti-social sometimes, copy and paste this into your profile, 31) If you are the complete opposite of normal, copy and paste this into your profile, 32) If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and past this into your profile 0 97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattison (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a sky scraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3 who would sit there eating pop corn screaming "DO A FLIP!" then copy and paste this 21 Things to do at Wal-Mart 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!" 17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes. 18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you. 19. Throw things over one aisle into another one. 20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie. 21. Go up to random people and say "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" ect. and see if they respond to save themselves from embarrassment 15 Things to do when your in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! ) 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here! 15. Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!" 7 Ways to Scare your roommates 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." I do not suffer from insanity! I enjoy every minute of it! -I haven't lost my mind! I sold it on eBay. -I have plenty of common sense! I just chose to ignore it. -Yeah, I'm a freak. BUT I'M THE COOLEST FREAK YOU'LL EVER MEET!! -if olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? -Love your enemies. And that's only one way to annoy them! -tell the truth and RUN FOR IT -If everything is going well in my mind then you have overlooked something -you cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder -education is important, but school is another matter -I was normal once. But then I watched Doctor Who -The one who smiles when all goes wrong has thought of someone to blame -I got you a present. It's a CD. I hope you don't have it already coz I don't have the receipt. i didn't exactly buy it. -When in doubt, make up words An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. -Silence is golden, duct tape is silver -One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject -You know, 1/7 people have fallen of there nut. Look at 6 of your friends, and if they're all good, IT"S YOU! -Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk. They spend the second part telling us to sit down and shut-up -Flying is simple! Just throw your self towards the earth, then miss the ground. -Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out -Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. -I'm a news reporter. "What's that" i hear you ask. Well, what I do is firstly say "Good afternoon" then i tell you why my previous greeting was not true. -When somebody annoys you, it takes up 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to reach out and punch the hell outa them. You can do so 10 times and still have 2 muscles to waste! BARGAINBARGAINBARGAIN -Be insane. Well behaved girls are no fun to read about --If you can't BEAT them, JOIN them If you can't JOIN them, BRIBE them If you can't BRIBE them, BLACKMAIL them If you can't BLACKMAIL them, KILL them If you can't KILL them, your SCREWED --I had a friend once. Then his rope broke and he ran for it -I took the less traveled road... NOW WHERE THE HECK AM I? -DO NOT HIT KIDS!! No, seriously. They have guns now. -before embarking on revenge, dig 2 graves. That way if someone gets in the way, you can dispose of each body quickly IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME! 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. Mother-in-law is actually a clever anagram created by the devil to hide her true purpose. TRANSLATION: REARRANGE THE LETTERS IN MOTHER-IN-LAW TO GET... WOMAN HITLER DESPERATION TRANSLATES TO "ENDS IN A ROPE" I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. Playlist of my life Opening Credits: Parachute - You And Me Waking up: Young The Giant - Cough Syrup First Day of School: Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah Falling In Love: OneRepublic - Secrets Fighting: The Script - Breakeven Breaking Up: The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved Driving: Ryan Star - Start A Fire Mental Breakdown: Eminem - Mosh Getting Back Together: Maroon 5 - Never Gonna Leave This Bed Prom Night: Ke$ha - TiK ToK Wedding: The Goo Goo Dolls - Iris Birth of A Child: Christina Perri - A Thousand Years Final Battle: Eminem - Not Afraid Death Scene: Snow Patrol- New York Funeral: The Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm End Credits: The Wanted - Glad You Came If you live in your own little world, copy and paste. If it doesn't matter that you live in your own little world because they know you there, copy and paste. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, Glissoning Raven, Aleksandrya Gregonovitch, freakily obsessed Yassen fan, True Colours, BrokenWarrior 98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you are obssessed with Fire, copy and paste this to your profile and sign your name so that we know that we're not the only pyromaniacs here.: RulerofFire, Adderstar of ValorClan, alansquill, True Colours, BrokenWarrior If you love gazing out at the stars and the moon, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think up stories faster than you can write them and are too lazy to do that for most of them anyway, copy this to your profile and add your name to the list so I know I'm not the only one: alansquill, True Colours, BrokenWarrior 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, scarilyobsessed, teeny-weeny-munchkin, True Colours, BrokenWarrior If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you talk so fast no one can understand you unless they try really hard and even then it's a struggle, copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( i fall up the steps to school every time i go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Sanoon, Phantom-Flames, Leopardheart (just once, but still...), Littlwhisker (I do it all the time so get over it) Sakeraa (I blame it on my new sandals), Katklaws (multiple times, actually)Rainstorm007 (It’s just a tiny, little, big problem, gosh!) mysterys (sadly, mysterys is guilty), Adderstar(actually it was a half a flight of stairs, but it was humiliating enough. And painful...), alansquill (guilty as charged... how I do it, I have no idea) True Colours (I also once fell down a flight of stairs in a crowded shopping centre...people nearly saw a corpse!). BrokenWarrior (tripped up some stairs and smacked my head on the floor...so embarrassing) If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES, OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!! ...if you agree, put this in your profile. If fanfiction is to you what myspace is to other people, copy and paste this in to your profile. If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews (or maybe even one review...), add this to your profile Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone (myself included) is terrified of you cos of it's effects, put this into your profile. If you are one of the few people who prefer Carlisle Cullen over Edward , copy and paste this into your profile. Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love! For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, Maximum Ride, and fanfiction. Crazy is when you go on about your favourite pairings on fanfiction and no one has any idea what you are talking about. crazy iz when you shout "YAY" for no apparent reason in the middle of a maths test (soo embarassing by the way - try to resist) Crazy is when you suggest to the cool girls that they come in to school without makeup. Crazy is when you're in the middle of a crowded cyclone shelter and you run around wearing a mini-skirt and no underwear whilst proudly waving a red thong in the air...did I mention you're a 13yo guy? Crazy is when you run back and forth in your 12 foot kitchen screaming "The end is near!" during Thanksgiving while your Grandma makes the turkey. Crazy is what will set the world to rights. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! If you too are on the Quest for General Awesomness, copy and paste this into your profile. |