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Joined 08-02-12, id: 861566, Profile Updated: 08-02-12
Author has written 1 story for General.

Hey people:)

So I really suck at these but I will try my hardest.

Books I like

Maximum Ride- Best series ever!!!!!!!!

Percy Jackson and the Olympians- My favorite book series in elementary school, and still basically is

The a Inheritance cycle- Really really enjoyed it. Kinda sad about the end of inheritance though

Hush Hush- Love them!!! Patch is on my top five list of most gorgeous fictional character seated at number two. Fang is still number one

Witch and wizard- Pretty good trilogy, I loved the plot.

Heroes of Olympus- Has the potential to be just as great as PJO

The Kane Chronicles- Really good. I was sad when it ended though:(

Rangers Apprentice- This was a really good series. I was especially sad when they ended the series with a cliff hanger

Gone series- Awesome books. Sometimes they're so intense that I have to put down the book.

Divergent trilogy- I absolutely love these books. Still need to read Insurgent

The Unwanteds- I really like this one because it felt like the world I've always dreamed of

Seven Kingdoms Trilogy- I really liked these they were really interesting

Favorite Quotes:

I am who I am with no exceptions- Haley Williams (Paramore)

I like hardcover books, because every time someone says that reading is stupid, I smack them with whatever book I have on hand.

Love? I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You would too if you hit a little bit harder.

The only thing better than chocolate is a good friend with chocolate

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them into Life's eyes and see how Life likes lemons then!

Remember there's a light at the end of every tunnel, just make sure its not a train.

Don't take life too seriously, it's not like you're getting out alive

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with

Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face, when you push them down a flight of stairs

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Tough times never last, but tough people do

Imagination is more important than knowledge

You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had

Yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet

There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!!

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil

You laugh because I'm different...I laugh cause I just farted!

He who laughs last didn't get it.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt

If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, anymore than standing in your garage makes you a car

If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

There can be over one million fangirls of someone, but in your own mind, they always belong to you

I know I'm in my own little world, but it's okay, they know me here

You know what makes me sad? YOU DO! Why don't we just waltz on over to nambi-pambi land and get you some self confidence, you jackwagon! Tissue? Crybaby!

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down

On a scale from Waldo to Anne Frank, how good was that hiding spot?

I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.

“Are you being sarcastic?” “Well no duh!”

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.

I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.

“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.

You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.

This is really cool:

Bruno Mars had a GRENADE and Taio Cruz had DYNAMITE and they threw them to Katy Perry who exploded like a FIREWORK, the bang was so loud the Black Eyed Peas forgot THE TIME while Rihanna had memory loss and ran around saying WHATS MY NAME and then Eminem looked around saying IAM NOT AFRAID then Willow Smith started to WHIP her HAIR which scared the Far East Movement and they started to fly LIKE A G6 and then NELLY woke up saying it was JUST A DREAM.

Cool huh

Things I like

- Sports

- Fang

- Books

- Fang

- Books

- Dogs

- Macaroni and Cheese Sandwiches (I don't care if you think they're gross)

- Writing

- Drawing

- Music

- Iggy

- Percy

- Flying (I know we all want to fly so why not say you like it even though you haven't experienced it?)

- Food

- My kindle

- Chapters or barns and Nobles. It depends if I'm in the states or not.

- Patch

Favourite Maximum ride quotes:

Max: "Will you quit that?"
Fang: "Quit what? Breathing?"
The Angel Experiment, pg. 11

Gasman: "What does that mean" (points to a sign that says Stay Off the Third Rail!)
Fang: "It means the third rail has seven hundred volts of direct current running through it. Touch it and you're human popcorn."
The Angel Experiment, pg. 254

Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What've you been eating, rocks?"
Max: "Why, is your head missing some?"
The Angel Experiment, Pg. 214

Dr. Martinez: "I take it you don't want me to call your parents?"
Max: "Um, no." Hello, lab? May I speak to a test tube, please?
The Angel Experiment, pg. 93

Max: “I’m okay now. Maybe it’s a stomach bug or something.” Yeah, the kind of stomach bug that causes brain cancer.
The Angel Experiment,
pg. 229

Max: “Sixty dollars?”
Fang: “He was a total jerk. Take him for all he’s got.”
Max: “You are evil. I like that.”
The Angel Experiment, pg. 168

Fang: “Yes! Freaks rule.”
The Angel Experiment, pg. 169

Mike: “Where’s your gear?”
Fang: “We don’t have any gear. Spooky, isn’t it?”
The Angel Experiment, pg. 267

Random Person: “Is this a movie?”
Max: Nah – this is too original for Hollywood. They do sequels.
The Angel Experiment,
pg. 289

Agent: “And how do you spell that?”
The Gasman: “Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R.”
School’s Out – Forever, pg. 37

Iggy: “Max? Can I come in?”
Max: “No – I’m in a towel.”
Iggy: “I’m blind.”
Max: “No! You’re kidding! Are you sure?”
School’s Out – Forever, pg. 84

Max: “Something’s wrong with me, but I don’t know what.”
Fang: “You’ll be okay.”
Max: “How do you know?”
Fang: “Because I know everything, as I keep reminding you.”
School’s Out – Forever, pg. 86-87

Fang: “Holy (insert a swear word of your choice here).”
The Angel Experiment, pg. 383

Max: “Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?”
Fang: “Yeah.”
Max: “When?”
Fang: “Right away.”
Max: “How? We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?”
Fang: (grins) “She offered to cook breakfast.”
Max and Fang: (laughs)
School’s Out – Forever, pg. 398-399

Max: “Lay off the freaking horn!”
Nudge: “Sorry, it’s just so much fun – it sounds like a party.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 7

Max: “I hate you!”
Fang: “No you dooonnn’t!”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 40

Dr. Martinez: “Fang? Are you – like Max?”
Fang: “Nope. I’m the smart one.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 70

Max: “So, you have your price. Your soul for a cookie.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 72

Max: “Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much.
Fang: “Oh, jeez.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 84-85

Max: “What I said yesterday didn’t mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!”
Fang: “Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me. Pick a tree. I’ll go carve out initials in it.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 86

Fang: “There is one bright side to this.”
Max: “Yeah? What’s that?”
Fang: (grins) “You looove me.” (Holds arms out wide) “You love me this much.”
Max: (Shrieks)
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 102

Jeb: “The truth is, Max, nothing is as it seems.”
Max: “Uh-huh. Is that what the aliens told you when you quit wearing your foil hat?”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 117

Ter Borcht: “You haf a malfunctioning chip, you get debilitating headaches, and your leadership skills are sadly much less than ve had hoped for.”
Max: “And yet I could still kick your doughy Eurotrash butt from here to next Tuesday. So that’s something.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 136

Ter Borcht: “Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?”
Gazzy: “I have x-ray vision.” (looks at ter Borcht’s chest and then looks appalled)
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 137

Ter Borcht: “Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?”
Nudge: “You mean, like, besides the wings?”
Ter Borcht: “Yes. Besides de vings.”
Nudge: “Hmm. Besides de vings. Um… I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!”
Ter Borcht: “Hardly a special talent.”
Nudge: “Yeah? Let’s see you do it.”
Gazzy: (in ter Borcht’s voice) “I vill now eat nine Snickers bars, visout bahfing.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 138

Ter Borcht: “Does anysing on you vork properly?”
Iggy: “Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 139

Ter Borcht: “Is dere anysing special about you?”
Fang: “Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 139

Gazzy: (in ter Borcht’s voice) “I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 140

Max: “Now, let’s say they come get us.”
Iggy: “And, like, the halls are full of zebras.”
Gazzy: “And suddenly tons of bubbles everywhere.”
Nudge: “And then everyone starts eating beef jerky.”
Iggy: “Yeah, I’ll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent, so people are choking and gagging; and let’s throw beef jerky right into their eyes. Now that’s a plan!”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 149-150

Ter Borcht: “It is time to eliminate you. You haf failed all de tests. You are not useful.”
Max: “No, but we’re dang cute.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 154

Max: “Gosh. It’s like looking in a mirror.”
Max II: “Yeah. Except I’ve had a bath recently.”
Max: “Touché.”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 296

Scientist: “As high as a plane?”
Nudge: “Higher.”
Scientist: “Higher than a plane?”
Nudge: “Yep. We can go so high that we can’t even hear the rubber band making the little propeller go around – thwip, thwip, thwip. You meant a toy plane, right?”
Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports, pg. 307 – 308

Fang: “Have you guys been playing in toxic waste again?”
The Final Warning, pg. 39

Gazzy: “Dive-bomb!”
Max: “No, Gazzy, don’t! It’s a government building! They’re even more paranoid than we are!”
The Final Warning, pg. 58

Nudge: “No. I looked for you too. Were you behind the tree?”
Fang: “I was right here!”
Iggy: “I didn’t see you either, man.”
The Final Warning, pg. 65

Total: “I don’t have fleas.”
Max: “Uh, yep, I guess that’s true. That’s a good thing.”
Iggy: “I don’t have fleas.”
Gazzy: “Bet you do.”
The Final Warning, pg. 68-69

Iggy: “They call me the White Knight.”
Sharon: “Oh? Why is that?”
Iggy: (gestures to himself) “They’re not gonna call me the Black Night.”
MAX, pg. 24

Max: “I’m only a kid! I can’t get married!”
Angel: “You could in New Hampshire.”
Max: “Forget it! No one’s getting married! Not in New Hampshire or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox! Now go to sleep,before I kill you!
MAX, pg. 36

Jeb: “Max.”
Max: “Please don’t impart any pearls of wisdom. I just ate.”
MAX, pg. 75

Max: When Fang asked if it was time to get back, I thought hazily, Back to what?
This is my brain: o
This is my brain after making out with Fang: •
MAX, pg. 87

Max: “Did you leave the flamethrowers lying around again?”
Fang: “I always forget.”
MAX, pg. 101

Ensign: "I'm supposed to lead some temporary recruits to mess, kit, and then the BSSTC grounds."
Max: "Time for the BS, guys!"
MAX, pg. 133

Iggy: "If you wanted me to take a shower, all you had to do was pay me ten bucks, like you usually do."
ANGEL, pg. 136

God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece.

15 Ways to Get Kicked Out of WalMart

1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!!" and push them behind a shelf

2-Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one.

3-Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" once the cashier tells you the price

4-Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices"

5-when the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!!THEY'RE BACK!!"

6-start a fish stick fight

7-walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!!"

8-(this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!!"

9-walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do

10-slip a bra and a lacey pink thong into a really macho-looking man's cart (just make sure he doesn't have any girls with him)

11-attempt to fly off a high shelf

12-throw confetti on random people walking into the store

13-whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line

14-stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section

15-walk up to empoyees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you aisle 8..

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair!).

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (well no dur.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a cup of noodles: "WARNING: product may be hot when ready" (Apparently we use ice cubes to cook noodles nowadays.)

A newspaper headline read :FIVE MEN DO THE WORST THING EVER. And then there was nothing more on the subject but a picture of a jail. Anyone else curious what the 'worst thing ever' is?

A computer packaging label read "WARNING! Contents are liable to overload. HANDLE WITH CAUTION!". Don't computers need to be plugged in to overload in the first place?

On a package of sesame seed burger buns: "NOTE: ingesting sesame seeds will not cause sesame plants to grow in your stomach". Do I even need to say ANYTHING after that?

Chronicles of James Burton reviews
James Burton's dad went missing when he was six years old. They claimed him dead but James doesn't believe them. So one day when he was cleaning the attic with his best friend Charlie they are sucked into another world where he might just find his dad. Summary sucks, story's much better then it sounds.
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,176 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/22/2012