Five Pies To The Face
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Joined 08-03-12, id: 861868, Profile Updated: 08-05-12
Author has written 4 stories for General, Life, and War.

I am also on FanFiction with the same name. Remember: Waffles! (Do-do-do-do can't WAIT to get a mouthful!)

About Me: I am 13 1/2 years old. I am in the 8th grade. I have dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. I am a tad bit overweight, but it doesn't bother me that much. I wear glasses. I am an Atheist. I want to be either a Comedian or Lawyer when I get older. I LOVE writing stories. My FAVORITE song is Wake up by Arcade Fire. My favorite book is A Child Called 'It' by David Pelzer. The comedians I get my inspiration from are Jeff Dunham, Gabriel Iglacious, Andy Scott Harris, and Eddie Murphy. Don't like me? Then LEAVE ME ALONE.

I LOVE Backhouse Mike. He's freaking amazing.

When Gerard Way cries, everybody cries. Don't know who he is? Lead singer for MCR. Don't know what that is? My Chemical Romance. Don't know what that is? Lock your windows tonight..

It was a one-eyed one-horn flyin' purple people eater!

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. Every day!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If I don't do it daily, I'm sick in bed :P

If you like smiley faces, copy this into your profile. :D

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. I ALWAYS get hit with a ball.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. Do it to mah bro all the time!

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you all ready have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile. WORD!

Paste this in your profile if you have ever seen a ghost or something supernatural. I swear I have seen Abraham Lincoln!

If you have fallen asleep at your computer only to wake to see an untold number of pages of one lone letter on a word docment because your head was on the keyboard, post this to your profile

If you have ever awaken your father or mother at 3 in the morning to kill a spider in your room, post this on your profile. Yeppers...Turned out it was a toy XD

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile

People of the world who HATE math UNITE! If you suck at math and think anyone who likes math is weird copy and paste the to your profile. My best friend loves math, and I think she's weird, but we are still friends :)

If you have ever thought you could fly and jumped off your bed then copy and paste this in your profile. I tried..Owwie

1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle

2.For each question, press the next button to get your answer

3.YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Hello- Evanesence.. Always say Hello?

2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Fish Heads- Barnes & Barnes.. Yeah?! Well, you father was a deer and your mother smelt of elderberries!

3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Imaginay- Evanescence.. My friend finds that offensive! The correct term is Invisible American!

4.WHAT IS 22?

They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haa!- Napoleon XIV.. Never do math.

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

This Is How I Dissapear- MCR.. She makes me go to the Spirit World...

6.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Eat It- Weird Al.. That's so pervertedly wrong in sooooo many ways... o_o

7.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

The End- MCR.. Actually if you listen to the lyrics, it's kinda spot on...

8.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Grenade- Bruno Mars.. Don't get too close...

9.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Our Time Now- Plain White T's.. Awww... :3

10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Give It Up- Ariana Grande, Liz Gllies.. It's okay, you guys won't be mentioned in my Comedy Award Acceptance speach.

11.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Please Don't Leave Me- P!nk. Awwww! Remind me to do that whenever I do!

12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Cancer- MCR.. I hope I don't die from it..

13.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Teenagers- MCR.. Well, at the moment, I find some teenagers to be cute...?

14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Candy- Gavin Degraw.. Shhh!

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Der Fueher's Face- Spike Jones and His City Slickers.. Yes, fart in Hitler's face.

16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Let Me Take You There- Plain White T's.. Note to self: DON'T GO WITH FRANCE!

17. HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Dead Puppies- Ogden Edsl.. I'll die at the sight of a dead dog.

18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET?

Once again, Cancer- MCR.. I'm all sad now.

19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

The Driveway- Miley Cyrus.. The last time I checked, my driveway couldn't tell jokes..

20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

House of Wolves- My Chemical Romance.. If I actually WAS in a house of wolves..

21.WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

To the Sea- Razorlight.. I'M GOING TO MARRY POSEIDON?!?! YAAAAAAAY!

22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Haunted- Evanescence.. Yes, I HATE haunted houses.

!23.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Alvin's Orchestra- The Chimpmunks.. The WHOLE orchestra? Wow, you take band for ONE year..

24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

Coming Home- Diddy-Dirty Money, Skylar Grey.. Guess my Mom will have to deal not speaking with her daughter..

25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

My Last Breath- Evanescence.. It will, but not now.

What A Boyfriend Should Do:

When she walks away mad...

Follow her.

When she stares at your mouth...

Kiss her.

When she pushes you or hits you...

Grab her and don't let go.

When she's quiet...

Ask her what's wrong.

When she ignores you...

Give her you FULL attention.

When she pulls away...

Pull her back.

When you see her at her worse...

Tell her she is beautiful.

When you see her start to cry...

Just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking...

Sneak up from behind and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared...

Protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder...

Tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favorite hat...

Let her keep it and sleep with it for the night.

When she teases you...

Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer you for a long time...

Reasure her that everything is alright.

When she looks at you with doubt..

Back yourself up.

When she says that she likes you...

She really does...more than you understand.

When she grabs at your hand...

Hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumbs into you..

Bump her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret...

Keep it safe and untold.

When she looks into your eyes...

Don't look away until she does.

When she misses you...

She's hurting inside.

When you break her heart...

The pain NEVER really goes away.

When she says 'it's over'...

She still wants you to be hers.

When she re-posts this bullentin...

She WANTS you to read it.

Stay on the phone with her...

Even if she's not saying anything.

When she's mad...

Hug her tight and don't let go.

When she says she okay...

Dont believe her and talk about it because 10 years from know...

she will remember you.

Call her at 12:00...

Just to tell her you love her.

Call her before you sleep and...

after you wake up.

Treat her like...

she's ALL that matters to you.

Tease her...

and let her tease you back.

Stay up with her All night when she's sick and watch her favorite TV show or Movie with her...

even if you think it is stupid.

Give her the world...

and let her wear your clothes.

When she's bored and alone...

Hang out with her.

Let her know how important she is to you...

and kiss her in the pouring rain.

When she runs up to you crying the first thing you say is...

"Who's ass am I kicking, babe?"

If you post this in the next four minutes...

The one you love will:

Call you.

Kiss you.

Love you.

Text You

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BEST FRIENDS: Already has the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his butt

FRIENDS: Bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BEST FRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you in the process

FRIENDS: Will be embarassed when all goes silent and you start to sing the song that has been stuck in your head for days

BEST FRIENDS: Will be singing along with you

FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping with you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: kick your butt and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: Are there when you're sitting in a bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"

BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you

FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and say nice to meet you

BEST FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and scare the Hell out of him by threatening to break every bone in his body if he hurts you

FRIENDS: Will tell you they know how you feel

BEST FRIENDS: Will sit down and cry with you

FRIENDS: Ask nicely for your stuff

BEST FRIENDS: Just shout "GIMME" it

FRIENDS: Wait to call you at a reasonable hour

BEST FRIENDS: Will call you at two in the freaking morning

FRIENDS: Won't let you do stupid things

BEST FRIENDS: won't let you do stupid things 'alone'.

«FRIENDS: Will take you to buy a pregnancy test

«BEST FRIENDS: Will stand outside the bathroom screaming "NAME IT AFTER ME!"

FRIENDS: Will buy you lunch

BEST FRIENDS: Will eat yours

FRIENDS: will come and ask you to get a drink with her if some strange boy grabs you on the dance floor and you need an 'out'.

BEST FRIENDS: Will push herself in between you and the punk, wrap her arms around you, and say. "I'm sorry she's here with me, find your own date."

FRIENDS: Will not try anything that will embarass you while near your crush.

BEST FRIENDS: Will cackle evily and try to push you 'by accident' into him while standing next to him.

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this

BEST FRIENDS: Would repost this crap

FRIENDS: Fade

BEST FRIENDS: Forever

You Might Be An Author If...

1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written.

2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names.

3. You often imagine your books becoming movies.

4. Spell check is your best friend.

5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background.

6. You hesitate before killing of one of your favourite characters.

7. You smile really big when your gonna finally write a character love scene.

8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing.

9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym.

10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long.

11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence.

12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written.

13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better.

14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself.

15. You can spell words like, Troublesome, but can't spell Obvious.

16. If your not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly.

17. You talk to yourself... constantly.

18. You forget what day it is when your writing.

19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away.

And finally, you might be an Author if:

20. You're reading this, smiling and nodding, have realized it's true and you're still DAMN PROUD

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Music, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, Anime-kitty10, Angelic Sakura Blossom, starlightmint72, The EPICNESS 1999, spkdog, swimmers flip 123, Brilliant Brunette Girl, Five Pies To The Face

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Hiding reviews
One move changes Arthur's life forever, now at the hands of the Nazi party.
Poetry: War - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 146 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/12/2013 - Complete
Why Can't You Love Me reviews
Dedicated to my best friends Lily and Tara. Keep on walkin', girls, I got your back.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 134 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9/12/2012 - Complete
Where I'm From reviews
An original poem by, of course, me. All of it comes from the heart, even though I only spent like, thirty minutes writing it.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 351 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/30/2012 - Complete
I Didn't Want To
Malcolm West is just a normal teenager, leading a normal life.. Or so they thought. Every teen makes mistakes, though, right?
Fiction: General - Rated: T - English - Crime/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 135 - Published: 8/5/2012