Clay Doll
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Joined 08-12-12, id: 864134, Profile Updated: 12-08-12
Author has written 4 stories for Humor, and Fantasy.

I am a amateur author.

I write for fun.

I am a majickal goldfish.

I have a gender, and it's great.

Fairies and Faeries and real.

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Fun Facts: Stop Bleeding with This Spice. Next time you nick yourself in the kitchen, reach for the black pepper, says Roberta Lee, M.D., vice chair of the department of integrative medicine at the Beth Israel Medical Center. Run cold water over the wound to clean it, using soap if you were handling meat. Then sprinkle on the pepper and apply pressure. In no time, the bleeding will stop. Turns out, black pepper has analgesic, antibacterial, and antiseptic properties. And don't worry—it won't sting.

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Fun quotes:

When superman smiles it means your safe and secure. When batman smiles you done fucked up.

It's a mixture of Chaos and Logic, making sense only when you have enough logic to make the illogical logical. But your mind is very logical. So it's rather difficult to think of the Illogical. Therefore, Nonsense is simply nonsense to you. But to those with a less logical, or more imaginative mind, Nonsense is very logical.

Its Friday and my ramen smells like peanut butter.

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Other stuff:

1) I realize it's pointless to say 'Don't Flame me or hells wrath upon you! Roar Roar INSECURITIES!.' So besides those words behind these words, I won't. I accept advice, well constructed criticism, and mistakes being pointed out. If fact, I encourage that stuff, it helps me learn. I like to learn. Because I'm dorkalicious.

2) Betas are magical springs of youth and wonder. Without them even the best of authors would go mad, I don't have one yet. Expect mistakes, and if you think you can deal with my stuff. Then tell me.

3) . :D

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Just fun:

If [you] founded a religion- your religion would be:
The Unobstrusive Worshippers of the 300-foot Glass Cathedral Down The Street From City Hall. Your followers are friendly and welcoming people, who don't believe in "ownership" or "property", who are free and fun loving, and who are encouraged to achieve greater spiritual enlightenment by questioning their own beliefs. Your followers must all wear, sandals, a condom in their wallet (just in case), a friendship bracelet.Your followers are a massive movement (over 7,000,000), and they don't interfere with the beliefs of outsiders.

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Rory Harper's Guide to Mating by Spleentectonics reviews
Slash. When Werewolves like me and you—okay, not you—reach a certain age, the hormones start a ragin'. Kinda like humans, 'cept when we get that special feeling in our pants, our choices become limited to mate or eat someone. And not in the good way.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 95,651 - Reviews: 682 - Favs: 717 - Follows: 882 - Updated: 9/25/2013 - Published: 12/8/2009
Monster by Burlesque Graffiti reviews
My mother always told me my father was a monster. I just never realized it was true. I also never realized I was one too. M/M Slash!
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 148,744 - Reviews: 533 - Favs: 452 - Follows: 478 - Updated: 10/10/2012 - Published: 9/10/2008
Quinntessential by the milk bottle reviews
SLASH. Elliot's pretty sure his temperamental flat mate, Quinn, has a problem with him. But since he likes to call himself a pacifist, he'd rather watch MythBusters than find out why.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 98,094 - Reviews: 3028 - Favs: 1,471 - Follows: 1,703 - Updated: 8/28/2011 - Published: 5/10/2008
Thin Floors by DiamondKing reviews
Marvin had an unhealthy obsession. He only had one friend in the world, a boring job, no boyfriend, and he lived his sex life vicariously with the help of thin floors and a dildo. Finally updated! Sorry for the wait.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,883 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 7/14/2011 - Published: 12/14/2008
Bless Those Syrup Pancakes by Wtf-Are-Scrambled-Eggs reviews
I'm Dan. He's Adi. We like dancing round like we're lunatics on crack and acting our mental capacity...A.K.A. 6 Years Old. I'm a closet case who's in love with his best freind - and so damn my hormones, why are the good ones straight? Slash.
Fiction: General - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 40,478 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Complete
Jack Saturday Can't Fail by Jumping Jack Flash reviews
It's bad enough that I got stuck babysitting a brand-new vampire, but when it turns out he comes with deadly baggage... no, wait, that's the fun part. I might actually get to kill somebody. Slash; M for language, sex, and violence.
Fiction: Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 72,250 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 348 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 12/16/2008
Stop Stalking Me! by Burlesque Graffiti reviews
So my name is Calen. I'm 21 and I'm an aspiring artist. Oh and I have a stalker. A rich, hot stupid stalker who won't leave me alone because I crashed into his car. Yeah...Great.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 49,203 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 317 - Follows: 380 - Updated: 4/1/2011 - Published: 11/15/2008
Hench! by Jumping Jack Flash reviews
Ever wonder what the supervillain game looks like from the henchmen's perspective? It looks like a fist suddenly getting very big, and then you're wandering in the street trying to remember your name. Shoe and Rocket have had about enough of that crap.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Crime - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,576 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 11/9/2010 - Published: 11/4/2010
It's Better in Pairs by Sheepie reviews
Kingdom Come AU Male x Male. Deangelo and Ethan decide to give Oliver the best birthday present ever, with a little help from Candy.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,033 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/17/2010 - Complete
A River in Egypt by frenchmartini reviews
Denial is an awkward obstacle to come across, as Jonty McPhee found out recently. Fortunately, fantastic and flamboyant Gareth Pedder finds all the drama quite amusing. Given the way he’s dressed, that’s to be expected! Slash.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 38,139 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 6/14/2010 - Published: 12/11/2008
The Cole Turns To Ash by Naked Penguin Fetus For Pope reviews
COMPLETE. 16 year old Cole is sarcastic, apathetic, pessimistic, and just well...a lump of coal. The complete opposite of one Ashton Matthews... Slash, male x male love
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 219,659 - Reviews: 1221 - Favs: 974 - Follows: 267 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 12/27/2006 - Complete
Bomb Pop by Luci-chan's Lunchbox Of Doom reviews
Mikhel is NOT gay. Really. So you might be wondering how he wound up at an all-gay high school. Well, I'll tell you. It all started with a bomb pop. LUCI inspi' SOMMORE MxF MxM FxF language drugs alcohol etc
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,215 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 11/16/2008 - Published: 10/14/2008
Charms and Curses by Drazuki reviews
(slash) Dawn tried a love spell he saw in a movie,he never thought that Practical Magic actually worked. Until a hot male witch and his calico cat moved next door. Now there is a tangle of evil, paint, kisses, and of course, magic.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 170,015 - Reviews: 1354 - Favs: 956 - Follows: 708 - Updated: 7/2/2008 - Published: 10/8/2005
Beauty? And the NotSoBeastly Beast by Tygati reviews
Slash. Late one night a very unusual Beast knocks on the door to an Enchantress's castle. The Enchanter, who is more than a little miffed at constantly being mistaken for a Lady, decides to help the Beast out with his problem. Chaos ensues.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,194 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 398 - Follows: 31 - Published: 12/2/2006 - Complete
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Tragedy of a teapot
A different version of Beauty and the Beast, set after the first events of the Disney movie.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 683 - Published: 12/8/2012
Tales of a Were
Billy just wants to live life without having to worry about too much. Life doesn't agree with what Billy wants. Rated M for swearing and mentions of certain events. ( First published fic. So if it makes your eyes bleed with how bad it is..yeah. )
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,608 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/2/2012
Blame the Sandman reviews
There were two days of no sleep. It was three-thirty in the morning. My friend and I decided to be very serious. Very serious indeed.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,231 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9/29/2012 - Published: 9/19/2012
Mysterious Mystery Story Of Mystery reviews
A little thing I wrote out because I wanted to test myself, see what kind of stuffs I can do. I'd love criticism on it, fill my head with Knowledge PLZ.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,268 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/19/2012