My all time favorite quote, cue drum roll. "The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

Here's some Maximum Ride quotes made by Dragonpurplepearl

Max: "Will you quit that?"
Fang: "Quit what? Breathing?"
Max: "You know what."

Gasman: "What does that mean" (points to a sign that says Stay Off the Third Rail!)
Fang: "It means the third rail has seven hundred volts of direct current running through it. Touch it and you're human popcorn."
The Angel Experiment

Fang: "Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What've you been eating, rocks?"
Max: "Why, is your head missing some?"

Iggy: "Yeah, but what now? We're all dressed up with no place to go"

Dr. Martinez: "I take it you don't want me to call your parents?"
Max: "Um, no." Hello, lab? May I speak to a test tube, please? (The Angel Experiment)

Agent: “And how do you spell that?”
The Gasman: “Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R.”

Iggy: “Max? Can I come in?”
Max: “No – I’m in a towel.”
Iggy: “I’m blind.”
Max: “No! You’re kidding! Are you sure?” (School’s Out – Forever)

Max: “What I said yesterday didn’t mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!”

Fang: “Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me. Pick a tree. I’ll go carve out our initials in it.”

Ter Borcht: “Is dere anysing special about you?”
Fang: “Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica.”

Nudge: "Um… I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!”
Ter Borcht: “Hardly a special talent.”
Nudge: “Yeah? Let’s see you do it.”
Gazzy: (in ter Borcht’s voice) “I vill now eat nine Snickers bars, visout bahfing.” (Saving the World and other Extreme Sports, by James Patterson)

Gazzy: “Dive-bomb!”
Max: “No, Gazzy, don’t! It’s a government building! They’re even more paranoid than we are!”

Nudge: “No. I looked for you too. Were you behind the tree?”
Fang: “I was right here!”
Iggy: “I didn’t see you either, man.” (Final Warning)

Max: “Did you leave the flamethrowers lying around again?”
Fang: “I always forget.” (MAX)

Now just some MR quotes.

"I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang

"I love Nudge, I really do. But that motor mouth of her's could have turned mother Theresa into an Axe murderer" - Max from Maximum Ride

"Yes! Freaks RULE!" Fang

"'Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!'
'But we're grounded.'
We stared at each other for a second and then we burst out laughing" Max and Fang

"I look like prep school Barbie. *looks at Max* Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend." Nudge

"Captain, like the captain of a ship. And then Terror, you know, T-E-R-O-R." Gasman

"You...are...a...fridge...with...wings...we're...freaking...ballet...dancers." Fang

"Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you sooo much." "Oh, jeez." Max and Fang

"Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it." Fnick

"I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. So people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan!" -Iggy

"Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." Fang

"Oh yeah,'cause Fang is all about the wordy sharing of feelings." Max

"'Iggy, this is not a democracy," I said understanding his fear but not being able to do anything about it. "It's a Maxocracy.'"-From Max Ride: The Angel Experiment

"Ok, so that did me in. Mr. Rock being all emotional? Expressing feelings?..., total flock hug, and I put my head on Fang's shoulder and cried."- Max, MR4

"The one thing I really can't stand is when Max and the others are in pain or upset. Not upset as in angry or teed off, 'cause God knows if that got to me I'd be totally out of luck." -Fang

I let my jaw drop open, looking from Iggy to Fang and back, and then Iggy was smiling huge in a way he never does, and Fang was grinning in a way he hardly ever does, and I felt like skipping around like a ballerina, which i promise you, I never, ever do." -Max, MR4

"Iggy I asked again.
"Yeah?" He blinked, wiping his face with one hand.
"What are you guys doing? If you wanted me to take a shower, all you had to do was pay me ten bucks, like you usually do." Max and Iggy, Book 7 Angel

"How do you feel?" I asked.
"Like a wet dog," he answered irritably. "What's wrong with you guys?" Max and Iggy, Book 7 Angel.

That left him one option. Fang opened his bleary eyes, scanning the room until he found a clock. Past midnight. Getting yelled at by Max would have to wait until morning. Fang, Book 7 Angel

"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang-MR School's Out Forever

"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" Max-MR Saving The World and Other Extreme Sports

"I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?" Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much. -Total and Max-MAX

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-Saving The World and Other Extreme Sports

"Have you guys been playing in the toxic waste again? Been bitten by a radioactive spider? Struck by lightning? Drink a super-soldier serum?" -Fang-Final Warning

"Your middle name is 'Charging Off.'" -Total-MAX

"Optimism is overrated, Max. Its better to face realitly head-on." -The Voice-School's Out Forever

"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-Angel Experiment

The MR Pledge

I promise to remember Max, whenever I must lead.
I promise to remember Fang when I would rather not speak.
I promise to remember Iggy, whenever something explodes.
I promise to remember Nudge when someone just keeps talking.
I promise to remember Gazzy when it just plain stinks.
I promise to remember Angel when someone manipulates.
I promsie to remember Jeb when someone is a traitior.
I promise to remember Ari whenever life's not fair.
I promise to remember Lissa and Brigid when they are a player.
I promise to remember these, cross my heart, hope to sing, and take a chainsaw to my wing.

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.
see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.
've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel... On more than one occasion:)
refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.
daydream about meeting the flock.
've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.
look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.
study about birds.
hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal.
have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.
read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.
're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.
are counting down the days till Nevermore comes out!
will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight.
hate dog crates.
think scientists are evil.
argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.
18.When you’re spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.
've found a new respect for blind people.
think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.
say 'U and A’ a lot.
think you have a Voice like Max... Ummm No... I don't think I'm that crazy... Not yet anyways
've gotten your friends hooked on the MR series.
use sarcastic remarks from MR.
know what 'Fax' is.
were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.
protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.
give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is... Yea you would have to be compleatly insane to not know what that is... duh!
daydream of flying.
love chocolate chip cookies.
seriously felt like you were in the book.
32.If you want to become a writer because of MR
33.If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.

Things Maximum Ride has Taught Us:
1. Being different is okay.
2. Even the little things can help save the world.
3. Red-heads are evil... Okay only the one's named Lissa:)
4. Love always makes itself known. Even if it takes you five books and fourteen years of your life to see it, it's there.
5. 6-year-olds do have the ability to take over the world.
6. Duct tape is a handy tool if you have a mimicking 8-year-old.
7. The loss of a vet would be a tragedy.
8. Dressing in dark clothes and never talking does not make you emo; it makes you Fang-like.
9. French is the universal language.
10. Fang-sized is an acceptable form of measurement... for height and Built;)
11. Count your blessings.
12. Teen magazines don't help you in life or death situations.
13. Nachos and Moutain Dew are proper mind controlling devices.
14. Fang has the power to sum up his and the flocks lives in 9 words... or a letter that can pour out 14 years worth of love:'(
15. Even a kick-ass, leader of a merry band of mutants like Max can make mistakes.
16. Never get hooked on Valium... Unless you want your best-friend to know you love him
17. The best breed of dogs are talking Scotties!!
18. If one cannot be corrupted by power or money, there's always Snicker's bars.
19. It is okay to sell your soul for a chocolate-chip cookie. (Not really unless your being an idiot.)
20. Kids are better than adults. (Shoosh yeah!)
21. You'll know the Apocalypse is coming when Max is wearing a dress. (It's kind of obvious.)
22. The best cooks are blind pyros.
23. Submarines are tiny tin cans of doom. (There could be a problem that someone didn't notice or forgot about, and BOOM your dead.)
24. Desert rat should always be cooked to well-done.
25. School really is an evil place. (Again obvious.)
26. Teachers really are out to get you.
27. Remember to flap.
28. Only one bird kid could pull off preppy Top-Siders.
29. GIRLS KICK BOYS' BUTTS!! (Completely!!!)
38. You became a treehugger after reading The Final Warning.
39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride. (And you get an F on the test that the teacher was going over while you were in la-la land.)
40. You want a talking dog... They are very cool you know! (Duh!)
41. If your anything like Max you will save your best guy friend's life on more than 3 occasions. (Why wouldn't you?)

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you get upset often because you can't become a knight, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can smell trouble a mile away, and still walk straight into it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you trip over flat surfaces copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have a wide range variety of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you call book characters "Cute" even though you've never actually seen them, copy this to your profile.

If you come up with stories faster than you can write them...crud...I just came up with another one.

If you talk to your book characters copy this.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

95 of people would panic if the Jonas brothers stood on the roof of a 3 story building and said they were about to jump. If you are one of the 5 who whould get all of your friends, some popcorn, and a soda and scream "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" copy this.

If you have ever wished you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever stared at something while you're walking and then walked headfirst into a pillar copy this into your profile

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list.

Can you raed tihs? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pirlofe.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

Cervical cancer is actually caused by a virus know as Human Papalonia Virus (HPV). Millions of women around the world already have this virus. Spread your knowledge and post this in your profile.

If you have your own personal bubble space copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.

There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people copy and paste this into your profile.

93% percent of people would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list.

88% of teenagers think that reading is a waste of time. Copy and paste this into your profile if your the 12% that thinks those people are nut jobs.

If you think sometimes songs really speak to you, paste this on your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've hit teenage years and are tending to be a bit rebellious... Well, girl(or boy), copy this into your profile.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile.

If you have ever spent too much money at a book store, copy and paste this onto your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've hit teenage years and are tending to be a bit rebellious... Well, girl(or boy), copy this into your profile.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then copy and paste this to your Profile.

If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble/Borders, copy and paste this onto your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict. (Or do it later.)

If Fanfiction is to you what Facebook is to other people, copy and paste this in to your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, put this in your profile.

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile.

If you guys love to read, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a lunatic, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good.

Please read-true story (not me)

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted

so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

you can go on and forget about this or you can copy and paste in it on your profile. whichever you pick is your desicion!

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

I love this story every time i read it it touches my heart, and that's hard to do.

This is a true story:

Her dad was a drunk, her mom was an addict; Her parents kept her locked in an attic

Her only friend was a little toy bear; It was old and worn out And had patches of hair

She always talked to it when no one's around; She lays there and hugs it, not a peep of sound

Until her parents unlock the door; Some more and more pain, she'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg, a scar on her face; Why would she be in such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear and softly cries; She loves her parents but they want her to die

She sits in the corner quiet but thinking, "Please God, why is my life always sinking? "

Such a bad life For a sad little kid; She'd get beaten and beaten for anything she did

Then one night her mom came home high and the poor child was beaten as hours went by

Then her mom suddenly grabbed for a blade; It was sharp and pointy, one that she made

She thrusted the blade right in her chest, "You deserve to die You worthless piece of s!"

The mom walked out leaving the girl slowly dying; She grabbed her bear and again started crying

Police showed up at the small little house; Then quickly barged in, everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly opened a door to find the little girl, lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad to go through so much harm; But at least she died with her best friend in her arms

(add this to your profile if you're against child abuse)

You know you're a writer...

-If you talk to yourself.

-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)

-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)

-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’

-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.

-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.

-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.

-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.

-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.

-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.

-If people think you might have A.D.D.

-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.

-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.

-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.

-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.

-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you worship English 101.

Copy and Paste this if you're a writer.

37 Things todo in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen Sir... when i was born i was black, when i grew up i was black, when i'm sick i'm black, when i go out in the sun i'm black, when i'm cold i'll be black, and when i die i'll be black. But you sir, when you where born you where pink, when you grew up you where white, when you're sick you're green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you're cold you turn blue, and when you die you'll turn purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man sat back down and the white one walked away. If you hate racism post this on your profile.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes like 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you'd rather read than do sports, paste this into your profile.

If your English teacher ever told you to stop reading in class, copy and paste this into your profile. (Too many times. I got detention!)

If you ever proved your teacher wrong, copy and paste this into your profile. (Honors 1 English, Ooo yeah!)

Vampire Speed Ice Ring = Wipe out Every Time

While physical cars heal, the emotional ones are there to be forgotten but can't be. –Unknown

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".
If you read this, you have to re-post it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you re-post this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!'

When you were 5, your mom gave you an ice-cream cone. You thanked her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.

When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming to soccer to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.

When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.

When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thaned her by talking on the phone all night.

When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.

When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.

When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.

When you were 20, your mom drove you to college. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to in front of your friends.

When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.

When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents are to their children.

Then on night she died quietly and everything you did came crashing down on you.

If you love your mom, copy and paste this in your profile. If you don't, then you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, NarnianLady, KingdomHeartsNerd, Lady Alice101, GothicPunk123, Wolf and MR Lover

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a book character copy this to your profile

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (my friends think I am weird 4 this one)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If Justin Bieber was about to jump off a cliff, 97% of girls would be crying their eyes out and screaming "DONT DO IT!!!" But I would be a part of the other 3% that would be screaming and jumping on the couch with excitement with a bowl of popcorn at hand saying "JUMP JUMP JUMP!!!" Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are that 3%.

If you have ever read a 2,500 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list, Razzledazzy, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Lady Alice101, GothicPunk123, Wolf and MR Lover

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, LiveForInsanity, Billvy, Sheena Is A Punk Rocker, Bellawhitlock51,dragonsdeathangel, Razzledazzy, EvilGeniusBookWorm13, Lady Alice101, GothicPunk123, Wolf and MR Lover

If you think that Justin Bieber needs to !@*&ing DIE, Copy and Paste this onto your profile.

If you think Animals are better then humans, do what you need to do. (No. I don't mean to use the facilities.)

If you have slapped a book because a character was stupid. Copy and Paste.

If you are reading this, Copy and Paste this onto your Profile.

If you Get excited when your Story get's 5 hits, copy and paste this.

If you have more than 3 animals, copy and paste this. (I have four cats. Mom's a cat lover.)

If you have ever shouted really random things at random times, Copy and Paste.

If you realized that there wasn't a coma at the copy and paste above, Copy and Paste.

If you just looked up there and realized i tricked you, Copy and Paste this.

If You are grinning stupidly, Copy and Paste.

If you lose focus in school thinking about maximum ride copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, I'LL SEE YOU THERE!!!!!! Oh copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love Maximum Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If FAX is your drug, post this on your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you are a Maximum Ride Fanatic, put this on your profile.

If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Copy and paste this on your profile if you love MR!!!

1. Do you think Iggy is hot?
Not really (never saw him face to face, and i go for dark heads.)

2. Did you cry when Ari died?
Not the first time in New York cause he had it comin... but a little the second time...

3. Do you think Fang is hot? Again have to meet him. (But from what i gather yeah.)

4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?
Air-E

5. Did you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?
:D a little! (chuga chuga chuga choo choo!) *lolrotftpo*

6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?
Yes only in my i head out loud i smirked... It was Cute!!!!!

7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX? A tiny bit...

8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?
No but when Fang left I threw it and said sorry to the book, put it down and didn't touch it for a week... Day after said week i finished it... The suspense was killing me...

9. Who is your favorite character?
Max (no contest)

10. Do you like Jeb?
No comment... Read Nevermore... You'll understand if you read it...

11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills?
Yeah only because I was trying to figure out how in the heck that made any sense it's bird DNA not fish.

12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW? Forgot what the heck TFW means.

13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?
When Angel held a gun to Max's face I wanted to brutally murder her. I don't care she said sorry... She can rot in the four corners of hell... Cut into tiny pieces... (that reminds me...)

14. Which book is your all time favorite?
Maximum Ride. (why the heck wouldn't it be?! MR is all over my profile!)

15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?
Ummm... I say The Story Of Us is The Fax song Idk what their Flock theme song would be...

16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?
NO!!! They are flippin' Bird kids not some Band!!!

17. Who do you think the voice should be?
Jeb, best choice.

18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument? Max should learn to play guitar.

19. MIGGY or FAX?
FAX. If any of you guys thought that Iggy liked Max and read the books there is something seriously wrong with you- as in your as dense as a rock.

Random Quotes

”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’”

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”

“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.”

”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong”

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go”

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

“The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.”

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.”

“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.”

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets”

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

“Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?”

”If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.”

“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” - Jack Handey

”Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.”

“If evolution is fact, why do mothers only have two hands?”

“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”

“I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt, and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.”

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”

“A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying ‘boy was that fun.’”

“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?”

“You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.”

“We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.”

“If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.”

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”

“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

“Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.”

“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.”

"The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

"The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music."

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

"I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere."

"Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up."

"I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have."

"A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you."

"A good friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you're slightly cracked."

"Friends are relatives you make for yourself."

"Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

"To put it nicely, I hope you choke"

"Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them."

"It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn."

"You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear."

"A day without sunshine is like... night."

"I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster."

"Whoever said that 'nothing was impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door."

"When life gives you lemons, you make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it."

"When life gives you lemons, you steal apple juice and say you made it, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it."

"When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell."

"Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that."

"Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you."

"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas."

"Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed."

"There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train."

"Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness."

"I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight."

"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over."

"Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone."

Things to do When Bored in a Store

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

This story touched me… I hope that it has an effect on you too…

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

“My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school and my mom came. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school: “Your mom only has one eye?!?!”…eeeee said a friend. I wished my mom would just disappear from this world. So I said to my mom, “Mom… Why don’t you have the other eye?! If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?!!!”

My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I’d wanted to say all this time. Maybe it was because my mom hadn’t punished me, but I didn’t think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.

That night, I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful.

Then I studied real hard. I left my mother and went to Singapore to study. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I’m living happily as a successful man I like it here because it’s a place that doesn’t remind me of my mom.

This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when…

What?! Who’s this?! It was my mother. Still with her one eye. I felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. Even my children ran away, scared of my mom’s eye. And I asked her, “Who are you?!” “I don’t know you!!!” as if trying to make that real. I screamed at her, “How dare you come to my house and scare my children! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!”

And to this, my mother quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,”
and she disappeared out of sight.

Thank goodness. She doesn’t recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn’t going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life. Then a wave of relief came upon me.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in Singapore. So, lying to my wife that I was going on a business trip, I went. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house. Just out of curiosity

There, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand. It was a letter to me.

“My son. I think my life has been long enough now. And… I wont visit Singapore anymore. But would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school. For you… And I’m sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you. You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mom, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye. So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you were angry with me. I thought to myself, ‘It’s because he loves me.’ My son… Oh, my son… “

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.

2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming. (doesn't everybody?)

3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel. (That's been happening a lot lately...oh no! 13 year old's Alzheimers!)

4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari. (He's a wackjob. ALL OF THEM!)

5. You claim you have wings. (they WILL grow out. One day. I AM only 13...)

6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'. (Like i said I. DON'T. HAVE. A. CRUSH. and i don't drool over guys, and today i saw two four pack guys with no shirts and jogging. i was on the bus for school and me and my friend (not saying her name) saw them she drooled i said 'whatever' she gave me a leisure and while she was doing that i put my headphones in when she didn't notice)

7. You daydream about meeting the flock. (... a lot... a whole lot. Yesterday my friend said something about a video we watched in English. "We watched a video in English?" "Yes. Three." "We watched three videos in English?" "Yeah. We talked about them the entire period after." "We did?" "You were spacing out again, weren't you?" "Well... maybe.")

8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more. (Yuppers.)

9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.

10. You study about birds.

11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal. (eh i can deal with it.)

12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both. (i have no crushes, haven't met the right guy yet.)

13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking. (i don't but if it was Fang i would, but glad it's not because the world would possibly end.)

14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'. (No way you can prove this...)

15. You are counting down the days for the next book. (Now it's really just fanfiction, because MR is finished... *sighs*)

16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight. (DUH!!)

17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser. (I know I'm not.)

18. You hate dog crates. (even DOGS hate dog crates)

19. You think scientists are evil.

20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.

21. When you’re spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.

22. You've found a new respect for blind people. (IGGY IN PARTICULAR!!)

23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author. (So i can tell him off.)

24. You say 'U and A’ a lot. (uhh i'm not anywhere on the mcnutty tree.)

25. You think you have a Voice like Max. (wish i did.)

26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it. (and in person.)

27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR. (What is your heads missing some rocks.)

28. You know what 'Fax' is. (*nods*)

29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween. (uh i don't treat anymore, but on the other hand, i do a lot of tricking *laughs evilly*)

30. You claim to have brain attacks. (only headaches)

31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them. (ANGELS HERE?!)

32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is. (*nods*)

33. You daydream of flying. (nope because sadly i know it won't be true. *sighs*)

34. You love chocolate chip cookies. (NO FREAKING DUH!)

35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.

36. If you want to become a writer because of MR. *shrug*

37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it. (won't everybody?)

38. If you love Fan-fiction. (duh, why else would i be on here then.)

39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.(yeppers)

40. You want a talking dog (who wouldn't!)

41. You dream about Maximum Ride. (Several times, actually.)