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Welcome to the homepage of The Tyrannosaurus Times, also known as T-Cubed. For those of you who may not have heard of us, we are an online news team. Here at T3, our goal is to present you with current and factual news from sources located across the globe, excluding locations outside of the United States. Our headquarters are located in the city of San Frandiego, where we've trailed in the news since November 2012!
Meet the team! We have short biographies for each of the members:
Hannah Applebaum is the founder of The Tyrannosaurus Times. She takes her writing incredibly seriously and expects the same quality work out of her employees. Although, it is rare for her to physically show up at the office. Hannah certainly has a great deal of trust in us! (-HA)
Future handsome host of our YouTube news casts. We don't really know much about him, other than he's handsome... and going to be a host. (-RK)
Earl Grubb is the elder and a great source of wisdom for the news team. This seasoned man was raised Christian in Mississippi, as the youngest of 12. Later in life he was hired as a reverend over his own congregation. After 40 years, Earl retired as a pastor and joined us here at T3 to "spread the love of God." Earl aides the T3 team in preparing for the approaching apocalypse(s) and instructs us in essential life skills, such as banishing evil demon spirits. (-EG)
Timmy Steak spent a large portion of his childhood with a psychiatrist, he has had issues with anxiety, paranoia, germophobia and the occasional urge to thrust a sharpened knife through his younger sibling's stomach. But don't fret folks! He has overcome all these ailments and achieved his dream of becoming a journalist. Timmy is the world's leading expert in what he has called the "Bald Man Theory". While no one is sure what that is, Timmy will be glad to fill us in sometime in the near future. (-TS)
Chris Cross is our local meteorologist, also, the weatherman. Chris was raised in Chicago, Illinois where he aspired to become a famous musician. While studying in college, Chris and his colleagues formed a band, The Electric Lemons. The band eventually dispersed over an argument regarding the question, "what is Satan's last name?" Chris describes the moment as heart wrenching, it affected the course of his entire life. He claims to have spent hours sprawled in the dirt outside, weeping and staring up at the sky. After 4 years of wallowing, he realized he had acquired the knowledge necessary to claim the title of meteorologist. Who needs books? While he did not achieve fame, he gained an expertise in weather... but he will always be famous to us at T3. (-C2)
MR. DR. PROFESSOR DARLES CHARWIN
Darles Charwin is our top (and only) researcher/scientist here at T3, when in need of answers or facts on any subject, this man is guaranteed to have one. Darles Charwin was born and raised in Washington DC, he studied over at Harvard, although he never graduated or officially enrolled into any classes. Rather than being forced to pay for college expenses, he slyly sneaked into lectures and listened from the back of the room. While he has never officially received a college degree, T3 was kind enough to award him with an honorary doctorates degree in everything. During his time at Harvard, Darles had the opportunity to travel abroad, by disguising himself as luggage and taking shelter within the bellies of planes. He even claims to have taken an accidental trip to the moon. (-DC)
Amber is Darles daughter and currently enrolled in high school. She doesn't seem to take much interest in journalism, or anything else for that matter. When interviewed for her biography we couldn't get much out of her past shrugs, sighs and "eh". (-AC)
Regina Bartholomew, well, her name isn't Regina, her real name is Bramela Buttes, but she insists that everyone refer to her as Regina. She grew up in London, England as a member of an incredibly wealthy family. Later in life, she inherited her families' entire fortune when they all mysteriously vanished. She loves nothing more than her money, but food comes in as a close second. (-RB)