L.G. Pickles
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Joined 11-21-12, id: 883562, Profile Updated: 03-10-14
Author has written 4 stories for Young Adult, and Fantasy.

Hullo, I am a lazy writer. I write a lot - mostly snippets of potential first chapters of 'maybe-some-other-time' stories. I've never gotten too deep into the plot of any of my scribblings. I have ideas (oh, do I ever), but I suffer from some serious commitment issues and have trouble writing myself out of plot holes and/or inconsistencies. I enjoy reading, writing, drawing, mentally whinging about how my back hurts when I sit in the computer chair, dicking around on the internet, and sleeping. Yummy sleep.

Like most people, I'm just like everybody else, and at the same time, like no one else at all. Every idea is a good idea if it's carried out properly. I like space. And bees. And Space Bees. And cows from mars. I also like demons, centaurs, zombies, rainbows, vomit, and coca-cola. Yup.

I doubt many people actually care about this, but if you've read this far - you probably do. :) You just made my day, even if I don't know it. Yes, you has dat powasz.

My currents W.I.P.s and potential stories:

Scumbag Detectives: Yes, yes - Victorian and Cameron are like Sherlock and John. Shaddup, like you're completely original. Sheesh, some people. I like Sherlock Holmes. I like detectives in general! Detectives and their adorable little helpers. So I made my own crime story, about a good-for-nothing human beling sleuth who goes by his surname: Victorian. And a stocky cop who'd rather be in a courtroom: Cameron Guy. I'm currently working on their first case: Family Matters. I know how it's solved, how it ends, and kinda how I wanna start the next chapter of their lives, but... ergh... can't... commit...

Heroes of Questionable Methods: Wherever did the cats come from? MY ASS. Yes, this is a story about the Shadows (demons) growing uncontrollable, so the Council (which consists of three cats) hunt down a Hero to save their race and, potentially, the dimension. Only their Hero is a kleptomaniac, sociopathic, OCD, bipolar compulsive liar: Percy Graves. He fights against the Darkness with, big surprise, questionable methods! Basically, the moral of this story is that sometimes the ends justify the means, and that not only the morally superior can be the heroes. I actually quite like this one, and would like to pick my ass up off the floor real soon.

The Darkest Kind of Magic: There's a theme in my work, it seems: protagonists with less than stellar morals. In this one, Orville Stones begins attending the magical academy of Magi Willis, a widely-known and respected wizard. Orville is a compulsive liar with some psychotic tendencies. He practices the illegal Art of Necromancy to use the reanimated corpses of his schoolmates to do his bidding. He is deceitful and pretty much devoid of humanity, for all except his dear mum. She, his mother, is taken hostage by the evil Necromancer, and poor Orville has to save her. I started a chapter, and might post it soon, but...

Revolutionary Revelations: A story inspired by and dedicated to my Social Studies teacher, the amazing Mister Wallace. It's about the Loyalist, Fletcher Frost, and a Patriot/slave named Kyal. It's set during the American Revolution in a futuristic, space-agey alternate dimension, with aliens, and zombie-centaurs (because of my sister). Fletcher uncovers a plot to take over the majority of the planet with the help of Kyal, and the two have to save the earth from tyranny. Yay. Crappy title, but a decent one has been eluding me for months. Yes. That's how long I can sit on ideas if I so wish it.

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Going Through the Motions by MadClaireMaelstrom
Where I will be publishing my poetry from now on. It doesn't make since to continue to bury my profile under 200 words and under poems. So here they will go from now on. Highest the rating will go is T. So. Won't be moving my old stuff here... Maybe one day. But today isn't that day.
Poetry: Life - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 202 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/3/2013
It's my birthday by my.life.is.over reviews
and this is our suicide note.
Poetry: General - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 327 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/28/2013 - Complete
Pinch me and I giggle! by MadClaireMaelstrom
While I don't get beat up, this is how I roll, mostly. Tell me what I'm doin' wrong so I can try not to make the same mistakes twice!
Poetry: Life - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 142 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/19/2013 - Complete
Violent, fiery death by MadClaireMaelstrom reviews
I didn't realize this was a sad occasion... Should this go on FF? Mm... Tell me how I'm doing, please?
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 112 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/20/2013 - Complete
Child of the sea by MadClaireMaelstrom reviews
Just something I typed out... I don't even... Would you read it just to tell me if I suck or not? :P
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 237 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/19/2013 - Complete
Supernatural by MadClaireMaelstrom reviews
The first poetry I ever wrote. I had the first verse stuck in my head... I wrote it down and then just kept going. Hope you like it. :)
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 82 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/20/2012 - Complete
Fightless by MadClaireMaelstrom reviews
I wrote this a while ago, back when I was in my 'angst' phase. Then I decided angsting was boring. Here's some of what I wrote then.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 90 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/20/2012 - Complete
Prince Alphaeus and the Dagger of Bane by ladyariande reviews
Every Deth Ardan grows up hearing the story: Prince Alphaeus, he who slew a thousand dragons and died singing. But everyone knows Deth Ardans have a slight tendency to exaggerate. So what really happened to poor Alphaeus and his Dagger? A short story.
Fiction: Fantasy - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,848 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/4/2006 - Complete
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The Darkest Kind of Magic
Orville Stones is a wizard. But not just any wizard - a Necromancer, Practitioner of the Darkest Magic. Luckily, he'd good at keeping secrets. Unluckily, someone out there is very good at finding things out... Eventual boyxboy and boyxgirl. Blood, murder, stuff like that. Also on Figment.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,257 - Published: 4/3
Heroes of Questionable Methods reviews
Percy Graves was merely a teenage pickpocket - until he happened across a dull little paperweight when robbing the McCreevey's home, a paperweight that seems to be following him. Percy is proclaimed the hero, destined to banish darkness from the world forever. But his mentor and accomplice, Tulip the cat, can't help but think his methods... questionable.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/23
Sam el Podudder the Mudder
Anyone can be a hero...
Poetry: Fantasy - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Published: 1/17 - Complete
Scumbag Detectives
Cameron Guy is a law-abiding police officer with the desire to be a lawyer. Victorian, a morally questionable sleuth, will simply not allow Cameron to tread such a noble path. He needs a lackey.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,768 - Published: 1/17