Author has written 1 story for General.
Siamese cat, Persian cat, Scottish fold, American curl, Ragamuffin, Ragdoll, Burmese, Manx
Name: you get three guesses. The courts two don't count.
Smokepaw(Brambleclaw's daughter, OC)xLily(Ashfur's daughter, OC, reincarnation of Lilykit)
You know when you live in 2007 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile
30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!! ... copy and paste this into your profile
If you like to put these types of things in your profile, copy and paste to your profile.
If there are times that you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Pokemon is cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile
A large percent of writers don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” If you’re one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you are wondering what it would be like to have wings, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are sugar high most of the time, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan-fictions, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile
If you ever fallen over laughing for no reason cut and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever cut and pasted cut and paste this on your profile.
If you talk back to the TV cut and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever want to be a cat copy and paste this into your profile
If you think warriors is the best books of all copy and paste this into your profile
If you wish the warriors books are true copy and paste this into your profile
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.
If you can't decide who Crowfeather should be with, and can think of good reasons for Leafpool and Feathertail but not that icky Nightcloud, copy and paste this into your profile!
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
If you think energy drinks are bad for you because they make you spazz out, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you guys love warriors, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever wanted to give someone a big hug because they gave you an awesome review, copy and paste this onto you're profile.
If you bug your friends to review your work, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.
What kind of name is Squirrelflight? Birchfall? Whitewing? If you believe that Firestar can't name his Clan worth a crap, then copy and paste this to your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you're friends give you odd looks for being yourself, copy this into your profile.
If you love copy thingies, copy this into your profile.
If you haven't and never will smoke, drink, (Like get drunk and do something stupid. Occasional wine and church wine is fine) and do drugs and are proud of it, (Which you are!) copy this into your profile
If you have ever ran into a glass door, copy this into your profile.
Ninety-fivepercent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCaffe, Hyperactiveley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Celyna, ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat, Sanoon, Phantom-Flames, Leopardheart, Littlewhisker, Flamestar211, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, natureboy3, Starstar412,
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile.
If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "cookie", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your day isn't complete until you've terrified a complete stranger, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't watch the OC, Family Guy, Laguna Beach, or any other TV shows like that religiously and never will, copy this into your profile.
If you wish you were a Clan cat, copy this to your profile and add your name to the list: Troublestripe, Loyalflame, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Sparklingpool
If you have ever been asked your age and you said the age that you were a year ago, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think (or know) you're obsessed with warriors, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know at least 8 different types of cats, copy and paste this into your profile and list the 8 different kinds of cats at the top of your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile.
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane copy this into your profile.
If you think Bluestar is a few fries short of a Happy Meal(if u know what i mean),copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Millie stole Graystripe from Silverstream, copy and pates this into your profile.
CATS ROCK MY SOCKS! If you think cats are awesome, copy this to your profile, and add your name to this list: Brambleclaw's Babe, Amber Sea, Mistwing, Emberflame of MoonClan, Skyeheart and Silverwing, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Sarklingpool, Starstar412
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Sparklingpool, Starstar412
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the poor leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
I am a cat demon. Well, part of one. I know I'm not a werewolf or a werecat. I yowl, not howl. I shriek, I don't scream. I've filed my nails to a really sharp point. -polishes nails on shirt- I have fangs! I believe in StarClan. If you're part of a cat demon, know it, and are proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile and add your name: Steeltalon, warriorfreak, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Sparklingpool, Natureboy3,
If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.
Crazy? I was crazy once! I would sing stupid songs at school, then read books on how to read! But then I died, and people put daisies on my grave, and one is bending down and tickling me on my nose, so I'm giggling and everyone is scared of me because I'm dead and I'm not supposed to be giggling so no more daisies! I know, I'm crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! Copy and paste this into your profile if this applies to you, and you know it does.
One thing: What's the big deal about Twilight? If you don't get what the big flipping deal about Twilight is, copy and paste this onto your profile.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is pappyflap cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of ever line
99 percent of FanFiction authors copy and paste stuff on their profile. If you're part of the 99 percent, copy and paste this on your profile.
Ways to make sure you're insane
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk .
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme .
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!"
If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. (W00T!)
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
-A world wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
“Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”
The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant. In India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant, In Europe they didn’t know what ’shortage’ meant. In China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant. In the Middle East they didn’t know what ’solution’ meant. In South America they didn’t know what ‘please’ meant, and in the USA they didn’t know what ‘the rest of the world’ meant.
Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
Hold an auction.
Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
Throw a rave.
Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"
Have a heated debate with yourself.
Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
Drum on every available surface.
Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
Propose to the other passengers.
Challenge people to duels.
Sell girl scout cookies.
Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
Shout "Food fight!"
Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
Elevators were practically MADE for river dance!
Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
Practice your kung fu.
Make race car noises when people get on and off.
Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
Fly a model airplane.
Play the accordion
Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
Aoccdrnig to a,rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
If you could read that, paste this to your profile
Things to do When Bored in a Store
1. Get 24 bags of cat food and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
What to Do During an Exam
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)
15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Act spazzy
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.
36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
37. If your answers are on a scan tron sheet, fill it out in pen.
38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.
39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
42. Dress like the professor.
44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
P.S. don't actually do this during a test, it would be hilarious, but you do have a permanent record ( if you're still in school, that is).
The Crazy Hyperactive Authoress To-Do List: Created by Half-Baked Chunky Monkey
1.) Write Saw: The Musical.
2.) Develop the ability to talk to vegetables. (Brocotongue!)
3.) Learn how to "billow" like Severus Snape.
4.) Make action figure of yourself.
5.) Prove to the word that gay sparkly vampires are even more pathetic than they believe.
6.) Enrage obsessed fan girls.
7.) Scream out random endings when walking out of the movie theater. (I can't believe it! Optimus killed Sam and ran off with Megatron!)
8.) Teach monkeys how to skydive.
9.) Create first ever cheese laser.
10.) Have own theme music.
11.) Find the penny at the bottom of the razor blade and and salt-filled jar.
12.) Discover why Dora the Explorer's parents let her explore the world all by herself.
13.) Sing made-up lyrics to Christmas Carols. During the summer.
14.) Read Shakespeare. You know, like in Romeo and Juliet, where Juliet fights that lion, and Romeo destroys the giant space station, and they all go to Burger King...yeah, I don't really know my Shakespeare stuff that well.
15.) Also prove to the children how Santa sits on the throne of lies.
16.) If this isn't enough, scream "I GOT CAKE MIX!" all the time. (Nemesis.)
17.) Warn younger children that if they aren't good this Christmas, Santa's little Dementors will come and suck all of their happiness away. Run from livid parents.
18.) Use security cameras as mirrors to pick your nose.
19.) Run around with a Force FX lightsaber, claimign you are a Jedi that must slay the evils of the world. Then attack anyone wearing Hannah Montana apparel.
20.) Develop sense of irony.
21.) Don't die yet.
22.) Conquer the world with flying monkeys.
23.) Teach monkeys how to skydive, then start an airshow.
24.) Build a city...then destroy it with rainbow dinosaurs!
25.) GET UP ON THE HYDRA'S BACK!
26.) Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're an insane authoress/author, too! (Give Wolf credit, though. Or face the wrath of the hard core unicorns!)
10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:
1. Ask For Directions To A Place Youre Already At.
The Stupidest Things On Products
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope. And maybe I should get it...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping."(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)
On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Awh, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).
On a Korean kitchen knife:Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:Directions: Use like regular soap.(and that would be how?)
Exhibit A: "Let's eat grandma." Exhibit B: "Let's eat, grandma." Moral: Commas save lives..
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Dark green, black, dark blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
My guy side wins... By a lot. :P And yes, I am a girl.
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfiction? Do you want to?
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Well, she seems pretty. I mean, she's Silverstream!
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Heathertail would probably slap across the face. Many times.
4. Can you recall any fanfictions about Nine?
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Crowfeather/Dovewing? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Well, first of all, Brackenfur is her father, and Brambleclaw has Squirrelflight.
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve "going at it"?
NO. JUST NO. O_O
8. Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?
Tigerheart/Heathertail? I hope not. Brrrrr...
9. Suggest a title for Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fanfiction.
You know... I'm just gonna skip this one.
10. Do any of your friends read Three het?
Maybe, if I knew what a het was.
11. Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven?
Sandstorm? One might.
12. Would any of your friends write Two/Four/Five?
13. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?
For Heathertail? Stronger by Kelly Clarkson.
14. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fanfiction, what would the warning be?
Warning: DovexTiger for all.-
15. When was the last time you read a fanfiction about Five?
Bout an hour ago.
16. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief and unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).
Tigerheart and Lionblaze are in a happy relationship until Brackenfur runs off with Lionblaze. Tigerheart, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Leafpool and a brief and unhappy affair with Stormfur, then follows the wise advice of Cinderheart and finds true love with Sandstorm
What would you name this fic?
Love has no boundaries.
17. (5) (4), (7), (1) and (3) are playing Truth or Dare. (5) asks (7), and (7) says Truth. (5) asks who (7) loves, and (7) confessed his/her true love with (4). (4) does not share the feeling, and in fact is in a secret relationship with (3). (7) is heartbroken, and seeks comfort in (1) while (3) and (4) run into the sunset together. However, (5) is secretly in love with (1), and become so jealous of (7), who, after the comfort from (1) becomes in a relationship with (1), and so (5) decides to murder (7), but is stopped just in time by the police officer (10) and is sent to prison, allowing (1) and (7) to continued their relationship.
Cinderheart, Silverstream, Lionblaze, Tigerheart and Sandstorm are playing Truth or dare. Cinderheart asks Lionblaze, and Lionblaze says Truth. Cinderheart asks who Lionblaze loves, and Lionblaze confessed his true love with Silverstream. Silverstream does not share the feeling, and in fact is in a secret relationship with Sandstorm. Lionblaze is heartbroken, and seeks comfort in Tigerheart while Sandstorm and Silverstream run into the sunset together. However, Cinderheart is secretly in love with Tigerheart and becomes so jealous of Lionblaze, who, after the comfort from Tigerheart becomes a relationship with Tigerheart,and so Cinderheart decides to murder Lionblaze, but is stopped just in time by the police officer Brambleclaw and is sent to prison, allowing Tigerheart and Lionblaze to continue their relationship.
"Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people, but calling you ugly would be an even bigger insult to ugly people."
When life give you lemons, shut up and eat your lemons
Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.
Be yourself. That's crazy enough.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.
If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.
There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line
I'm not random I just have many thoughts
I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking
The below statement is true
The above statement is false.
Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.
God must love stupid people...he made so many
There is no great genius without a mixture of madness
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense
Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.
I have a dream and in it, something eats you.
Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you.
Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?
If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?
What is this 'kindness' you speak of?
When life gives you lemons squirt the juice in your enemies eyes
Flying is easy just throw yourself at the floor and miss
You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor
I know I seem mean but it's because I don't like you
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
You're intoxicated by my very presence
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
those who dont learn from history are doomed to repeat it
Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.
Who ever says 'as easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried to.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt
If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
Dying is a very dull, and dreary affair, my suggestion to you is to have nothing to do with it.
Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!
Love your enemies! It really makes them mad!
I'm not insensitive, I just dont care
The voices in my head don't like you
Even if the voices aren't real...they have some good ideas
A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."
Some people are like slinkies...they're not good for anything but it's fun to watch them fall down the stairs.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
the statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're ok, then it's you!
Growing older is manditory. Growing up is Optional
"You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had."
-I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.
-save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate.
- I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. (Besides, whats the fun in that?)
- No I won't go to hell! it has a restraining order against me
-Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
-when Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons?
-when Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
-when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
I'm not so good with the advice. can i interest you in a sarcastic comment?
oops! did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?
- i talk to myself because my answers are the only ones i accept
- therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide
- excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it
-i live in my own little world. but it's ok, they know me there
-your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend
-tell the truth and run
-if electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?
-Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
-if everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something
-education is important. school however, is another matter.
You can talk to innanimate objects, but when they talk back, you know somethings wrong
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them.
Roses are red,
Sometimes people run away just to see if anyone cares enough to follow
"I love you" is eight letters. So is "bullcrap"
People say love is like magic, but isn't magic just an illusion?
You call me crazy, I've been called worse by the voices in my head.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
When you said you hated me I felt all fuzzy inside. I wonder why.
Keep on talking maybe one day you'll say something intelligent
Its a funny thing when everyone at the local asylum knows your name
Your intelligence is stupid
I once believed I could fly. The broken neck proved that theory wrong and it wasn't even my neck
If talking to your self is the first sign of insanity, what’s sign two?
Somtimes I wonder ' Why is that frisbee geting bigger' and then it hits me...
The Three Rules Of Life:
1) Tell the truth and run
2) If it hurts, don't do it again
3) Watch out for hobos with pointy sticks.