Ersatz Einstein
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Joined 09-04-13, id: 939348, Profile Updated: 06-11-14
Author has written 7 stories for Horror, Play, Romance, Kids, Young Adult, and Humor.

Hello.

I'm relatively new here, although I've been on the Fanfiction site for ages. I'm hoping to expand and practice my writing a little.

Part 1: Reviews

Anyone who has ever received a PM from me knows that I'm insecure and narcissistic to the point of insanity. This is most evident in my addiction to reviews. I love getting feedback because it means a) someone's reading my stuff, and b) they took the time to think of some comments. With that in mind, if you should inexplicably decide to spend time on writing a review, I have ground rules:

1. Keep it negative.

I think everyone will agree that negative reviews are more fun than positive ones, and I'm the first to admit that my writing needs work. Therefore, if you want to criticize me, go ahead! I'd prefer it if it were constructive, but I can appreciate a good tirade, providing it's really, really well-written, clever, and/or witty. After all, it's ridiculous to assume that the majority of people like my writing, and it's important that reviews reflect opinion.

2. Nit-pick.

I hate spelling and grammatical errors. All of my pet peeves are linguistic. Therefore, if you see a tiny, insignificant flaw it is inexcusable. Feel free to tear me a new one. This can be done in PM form, too, but I don't mind if it's not.

3. Vagaries need examples.

I have no problem with comments like, "she seems rude," but I'd like you to tell me why you think that, or point to a line that gives an example.

4. Don't be polite.

Arguably, this can be part of Rule 1, but I think that it needs to be underlined. It may seem that if you have something negative to say, it's best to phrase it in a positive way, or start with an explanation of why you really like it. It's confusing, it undermines the criticism, and I cannot be offended. Please, to quote Divergent, "Politeness is just deception in pretty packaging." (I didn't check that. If it's wrong and you know it, please tell me.)

Part 2: Upcoming Projects

Part 3: Current Projects

I'm not working on anything at the moment. Note: If I'm working on more than one, you have a favorite, and I'm not updating quickly enough, please PM me. It takes me twenty minutes per chapter, tops. The only reason I don't update more is that I'm burned out when I get home.

Part 4: Other

I, Ersatz Einstein, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, their age, or anything else.

I have joined the review revolution.

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Ecstasy
There is nothing quite like the joy of reading, and scarcely understanding, the great masters. A commentary on my own habits. Rated K.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,073 - Published: 7/22/2014 - Complete
Le Poème
Un mal prof fait son étudiant à reciter un poème avant qu'il se soit échapper. R&R, s'il vous plaît.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K - French - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 558 - Published: 6/28/2014 - Complete
Essay Test
Agnes needs to hurry up and write about her favorite art form. Posted in honor of the end of school, and with it, finals. (The name is inspired by the recurring character from my grade-school spelling sentences.)
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,000 - Published: 6/21/2014 - Complete
Emergency reviews
In serious danger of detention, or worse, a stern talking-to, Tom tries to conceal his crime from his teacher.
Fiction: Kids - Rated: K - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,115 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/11/2014 - Complete
Beloved
I lay beside him in the dark, trying to reconstruct his image.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 801 - Published: 6/8/2014 - Complete
Umwelten reviews
It is impossible for one human being to fully understand another.
Fiction: Play - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,270 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/1/2014 - Complete
Expectant Father reviews
He had loved and lost her, but now it was time to claim what was his. Please R&R.
Fiction: Horror - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,319 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/1/2014 - Complete