Ewndy
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Joined 12-26-13, id: 956411, Profile Updated: 02-06-14
Author has written 1 story for General.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

-Mahatma Gandhi


Humor is reason gone mad.

-Groucho Marx


A humorist is a person that feels bad, but feels good about it.

-Don Herold


I like mankind, it's humanity I can't stand!

-Linus


...Life is too mainstream for the dead. They're cool like that.

-=Ewndy

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Musing by Marvosa reviews
A collection of haiku.
Poetry: Haiku - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 63 - Words: 1,482 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/27/2018 - Published: 12/13/2012
Kissing Lessons by Tuesday Telegrams reviews
Cassandra is on the verge of a marriage proposal from the handsome but stoic Edward, & when he tells her he prefers a more 'experienced' woman, she decides to expand her knowledge base to win him over by enlisting the stable boy as her kissing partner... HISTORICAL ROMANCE
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 30 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/30/2018 - Published: 6/19/2012
The Mute and The Liar by Victoria Best reviews
I am a mute who only cares about mysteries. He's a liar who only cares about his youth gang. I didn't mind him, until he decided to break into my house, steal my salad, and oh yeah, kidnap me. / Most creative plot SKOW award winner / Featured on Project Fiction / story removed.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,638 - Reviews: 539 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 5/16/2015 - Published: 3/11/2012
I've Lost My Chain of Thought by Marvosa
A collection of Markov Chain style poems.
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 4 - Words: 331 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/2/2014 - Published: 2/16/2014
Beautiful Wallflower by Lady Seratopia reviews
She was beautiful, stunning, introverted and a dreamer just like her and the kindest person ever met. Her only problem- she was straight. And she would never feel the love she really had for her
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 83 - Words: 208,878 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/6/2014 - Published: 3/4/2013 - Complete
My Deal With God by IntensityxIntended reviews
My guardian angel, Ko, is a screw up, an angel on the fast track to falling from Heaven. He's childish and proud, and beyond irritating, especially for someone who doesn't do their job. Because of this little inconvenience, I was approached by God with a deal: I show my guardian angel how to care for a human, and God takes my sister's bone cancer away. Simple, right? I wish.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 116,147 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 7/30/2014 - Published: 2/1/2014 - Complete
A Midas Night by TheGirlAtMidnight reviews
After meeting a mysterious girl named Magdalena X at a party, sixteen-year-old Ryan Barrie hesitantly agrees to accompany her on her quest for the everlasting night-a romp that will sweep them through strangers' apartments and rain-soaked city streets. In a race against the midnight hours, Ryan will learn to let life in...in ways that might surprise you.
Fiction: Young Adult - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 45,839 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/10/2014 - Published: 2/17/2014 - Complete
A Father's Pain by OldAccount1 reviews
A story of one father's struggles with the flickering love he feels for his mute son. ONESHOT.
Fiction: General - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,027 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/12/2014 - Complete
Engaged to a Stranger -ON HOLD- by Laciela reviews
It's exactly what it sounds like. In my defense, he paid for my university, apartment, etc. So... why not? My parents couldn't afford to send me to college at all. While he had money to spare. But I do have a problem. I don't know who he is or what he looks like. All I know, is that he's my fiancé... that and he's too rich for his own good. But whoever said that was a bad thing?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,673 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 2/10/2014 - Published: 1/27/2014
An Apology to Johannes Gutenberg, Whose Name Has Two 'n's by Edamessiah reviews
Thoughts from a lecture theatre on the sort of monuments we collectively and personally consider important.
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/4/2014 - Complete
If He Could, He Would by midcoastlock
He says that if he could, he would. I say that if you want, I will.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 392 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/26/2014 - Complete
Inseparable by Symmetrical Death
Twins.
Poetry: Love - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2014 - Complete
Best Intentions by Edamessiah
A short poem about trying to be better than you are
Poetry: Love - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 99 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2014 - Complete
Pandora's Box by S3C reviews
In which Pandora's box is actually a young woman, Zoe, (which means life in Ancient Greek, as in there is good and bad in life, and inside her) with whom Pandora falls in love, despite being married to Epimetheus. When Pandora professes her love to her, Zoe breaks open, the evil and bad pour out of her, leaving hope, the white butterfly, behind.
Fiction: Mythology - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 180 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/21/2013 - Complete
The Beauty in the Beast by OldAccount1 reviews
Of the legends there tells one fact: as a storybook is being read,its characters come alive. But of no legends there tells the truth: these characters must all follow the rules of the storybook world. So when one of these rules state that they must remain in character at all times...henceforth spins the tragic tale of the wolf that fell in love with little red riding hood.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,879 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/4/2013
Centum Amor by OldAccount1 reviews
Demons are invincible. Virtually nothing, from fire, to bullets, to holy water, can kill them. Only one thing can. Love. When a demon falls in love, his very being disintegrates and he ceases to exist. In the face of death, seventeen year old Love strikes a deal with demon lord Odium; he will spare her and her family if she manages to kill him within one hundred days.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,159 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/20/2013 - Published: 8/18/2013
Stepmother by Lady Seratopia reviews
An abused girl grows intensely attached to her abductor, with an uncanny childlike affection. First genuine attempt at free verse.
Poetry: Family - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 467 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/25/2013 - Complete
Before My Birthday by MoonReincarnation reviews
A short reflection/poem on the relationship between a mother and daughter.
Poetry: Family - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 310 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/1/2013 - Complete
Eyes Confused by Lady Seratopia reviews
A gossip reporter's guilt.
Poetry: Song - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 219 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/24/2013 - Complete
Unrequited Wish by Lady Seratopia reviews
A girl is horribly dumped by her partner, making her and a friend wondering one thing- what is love?
Fiction: Romance - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,363 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/14/2013 - Complete
Lullaby Sands by Lady Seratopia reviews
A young mother sings her self-composed lullaby to her only son. Moms might like this
Poetry: Family - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/21/2012 - Complete
Summery Wintery Skies by Lady Seratopia reviews
An elegy dedicated to a girl's deceased friend
Poetry: Friendship - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 198 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/15/2012 - Complete
Deviating Away by Lady Seratopia reviews
Two friends are faced with that most heart wrenching question- can anybody love true and what is real love? Femslash.
Fiction: Romance - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,179 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/14/2012 - Complete
Thank You by melodxes reviews
For World Teacher's Day. A poem written from the perspective of a grateful student, even if it is a day late.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 203 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2012 - Complete
School Rap by Dr Whatever reviews
I wrote this when I was mad at school. Teachers, students and friends alike. It's actually quite funny.
Poetry: School - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 232 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Complete
Mark I Deserve by Kayilleah reviews
A humoures pleading to a teacher not to fail her student.
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Complete
Run by alivewithlove13
Running away from the abuse
Poetry: Life - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 78 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/18/2008 - Complete
Little Girl by alivewithlove13
Poem to the little girl I was
Poetry: Life - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 64 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/18/2008 - Complete
Discussions in the Hallway by GuitarGirl06
A student gets stuck in the hallway between classes and finds herself teased by a teacher. Based on a true event, but fictionalized.
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,093 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Complete
Chains by EvanescentSiren
A feminist poem.
Poetry: Life - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 182 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/29/2005
A Teacher's Desires by Violet Blues reviews
A teacher's inappropriate feelings for his/her student.
Poetry: Love - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/9/2005
The Feminist by DragonLady of Avalon reviews
For an independant spirit, the greatest prison is the mind itself...
Fiction: Sci-Fi - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,541 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/28/2005 - Published: 2/13/2005
SnEEzE by The Random Witness reviews
Have you ever been in a whole student joke on your teachers? I have...
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 240 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/24/2005
Teen Poetry by Armed-Pyro reviews
Wrote this after an english teacher complained about his students poetry.
Poetry: General - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 169 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/6/2004
God by Dvlsdngrousrbl reviews
A poem about losing my religion... I guess. What point is there to believe in someone who never helps?
Poetry: Life - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 244 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/13/2004
Belly Button Lint by Fauve Blade reviews
What happens when the teacher asks the student to write a poem in class... MUAHAHAHAHA! ha
Poetry: Humor - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 80 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/30/2003
A Woman's place by GreenCalenWen reviews
The result one of my feministic tantrums, please r/r
Poetry: General - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 156 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/10/2002
Our Teacher: An Ode to the Gym Teacher by Rb reviews
Every year, my school asks the students to submit entries for the Teacher Recognition Award, which honors teachers for their accomplishments in both teaching and in kids' self-esteem. This is my entry -- written in honor of my gym teacher. ^_-
Fiction: Humor - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,744 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/14/2002
The Balloon reviews
A balloon's short life.
Fiction: General - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 519 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/27/2013 - Complete